Which Relationship Should We Nurture Rather Than Walk Away From?

You know when you have that one person in your life who gets you, no matter what? Who makes you feel like they’re on your team, cheering for your successes and helping shoulder the burden of your failures? That’s not just a friend. That’s a partner.

A healthy relationship is the type of bond that inspires you to live your best life, the kind that makes you feel like you can do anything because they’re there with you.

But while some relationships are born of convenience or habit, healthy relationships are forged from mutual understanding and shared values.

They’re different from co-dependent relationships in that they empower you to be better, not worse. They fill the gaps in each other’s lives without smothering them with too much attention or expectation.

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Here are some signs that your relationship is one you want to nurture instead of the one you want to walk away from:

1. You feel safe in their presence:

A healthy relationship means that both people feel safe and valued where they are. With this comes confidence and openness to growth, as well as a sense of security. Both people prioritize each other, which makes the relationship feel more serious than those where one person feels more important than the other.

2. It’s a two-way street:

Healthy relationships often start as being one-sided. But over time, the dynamic shifts, and the partners become an even mix of giver and receiver. One partner is not doing more than the other, nor are they always expected to give more or do more.

3. You want to be together, not secluded from your friends

A couple that’s co-dependent and dependent on each other can be suffocating over time. They feel insecure and threaten to alienate the other person from their friends. Healthy couples do the opposite; they bring out the best in each other and provide a sense of stability and connection with others. They draw strength from one another’s friendships without feeling threatened or reluctant to accept help or support when needed.

4. You share a common life purpose

You don’t need to be on the same page about everything, but you should have at least some common ground. If you, for instance, both like to travel and watch funny videos on YouTube, that’s a good start. You also want to do things that are enjoyable and enriching together. Not only do you want to engage in fun but also meaningful activities. Where you live and what you do with your time are factors here. If your relationship is work-centric or other people-focused, there may be no room for a purposeful connection between the two of you.

5. You cooperate and compromise

For a relationship to be healthy, both sides must give up something to gain something else. In many cases, couples do not see conflict as a core problem in the relationship. They have trouble negotiating or coming up with solutions independently, so they enlist their partner’s help. This can lead to resentment and a stalemate that drags the relationship down.

6. You care about each other’s wellbeing

If you don’t care about your partner’s health, wellbeing, and emotional life, then the relationship will not be a good one. Your actions and words will speak volumes about how valuable you are to one another. It also shows that you have emotional maturity and can handle the responsibilities of being in a relationship. If that doesn’t interest you, decide if this person is worth your time.

7. You’re not afraid to ask for what you need

It would be best if you didn’t have to speak in code or hint at what you want or feel. The best relationships in the world have a sense of openness and authenticity between both partners. This means that they feel comfortable asking questions and expressing themselves without fear of rejection. If something is up, you should talk about it without being afraid of rocking the boat.

8. You accept your partner’s faults or past

You might come from different backgrounds and have very different upbringings, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from one another, understand the other person better and manage differences well. It could help to find things in common in the relationship that you don’t have to be similar to be compatible with. You can genuinely love someone and have a positive relationship with them without it being perfect all the time.

9. It’s not one-sided

One person should not be doing all the giving or receiving all the attention in a relationship. Healthy partners will do things for each other and provide things they want to give back, but this should be done as evenly as possible. It’s then easier to compromise and negotiate when necessary, especially when there’s a clear issue that needs to be resolved.

10. You can talk about it

There should be no issues in a healthy relationship that you need to keep private. It shows that you’re not afraid of honesty and vulnerability and can communicate openly about what’s best for both of you. If your partner has a problem with something you said or did, they should feel comfortable bringing it up without feeling like they’re making waves or upsetting the relationship in some way.

11. It’s a team effort

In relationships, the two people should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. You should be proud of your partner for their accomplishments and support them in their goals. Instead of putting each other down or pointing out one another’s shortcomings, you should address issues together positively that works for both parties.

12. You don’t need to control them

One of the biggest mistakes people make when in relationships is controlling their partner. This is fueled by misplaced jealousy, insecurity, and an over-focus on other people’s thoughts. Healthy relationships are based on a lot of positive energy from mutual respect, trust, and the ability to communicate without negative overtones. This means that you don’t tell them what they should be doing when making choices or enjoying life. You support them and encourage them to make their own decisions. It’s easier to feel happy and relaxed when you aren’t stressing out over every choice your partner makes.

13. They don’t try to take advantage of you

Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and goodwill. While it’s normal to have fantasies about someone in the workplace or at the bar, these behaviors need not be acted on. If your partner makes a pass at you or uses your situation to their advantage, you should be warning bells going off in your head. If they’re trying to use you or make money off of you, then it’s time to walk away.

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Reference:

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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