Children need to believe in Santa Claus. There I said it. Let the hatred of all things Christmas that don’t directly mention Christ begin. Let the self-righteous agnostic vitriol about not lying to children commence.
Before you attack, hear me out. I may not be an expert on child rearing, and often feel like a failure as a parent, but this is something I firmly believe I got right.
Well before my wife and I had kids, we were appalled at the ungratefulness of children towards their parents every Christmas. We heard them in stores begging for gifts far beyond their parent’s means. We saw more than once an ungrateful child upset on Christmas morning that Santa didn’t come through with the ultra-hard-to-get and very expensive gift. I remember first hand watching a child shower their affection for the gifts Santa brought them, while their parents’ gifts were boring and unworthy of their time.
Santa gets all the credit for everything good, while parents get the flak for everything lacking. I’m sure you’ve all witnessed it yourselves, and maybe vowed like we did, that Santa would never be the focus of our gifts. Perhaps you would cancel Santa Claus once you had kids. But by our first son’s third Christmas we were ingrained in the Santa experience like every young family.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always felt Santa Claus was important as a concept. It’s critical in my mind for children to know that someone loves them unconditionally. Someone who doesn’t do it for a job, or because someone told them to, but because they are kind and want to. Without this knowledge we grow into adults who are isolated and bitter at the world around them. Adults who believe there is no good in the world, and that people inherently can’t be trusted.
Each Christmas I especially worry about children who may not live in an ideal environment. They more than anyone need to know someone cares. What better way to show that than to have someone you’ve never seen, never spoken to, bring gifts once a year, purely because they care about you individually.
My wife and I found a compromise to keep the essence of that unconditional love alive, without losing credit for our hard work, and the love we try to show everyday. One Christmas, when my oldest was four and had a younger brother less than a year old, we (and Santa) took action. That year a letter appeared in our oldest’s stocking. It read:
“Dear [Oldest Son], You’ve been a good big brother this year. I’m proud of you. There are a lot of children in the world that need my help right now. So I’ve asked your mom and dad to help me, and they’ve agreed to do what they can. From now on I will fill your stockings and leave one special present under your tree. Mom and dad will take care of the big presents so I can make sure I have enough for every child in need. I hope you understand. Love, Santa Claus.”
It worked like a charm. At four years old he was very accepting of the concept and from that moment forward he knew all the big stuff came from Mom and Dad. He knew not to ask for extravagant presents. He knew Santa wasn’t a genie that granted wishes. But he still knew Santa cared not only for him, but for every child on Christmas.
We’ve kept this alive for nearly two decades with all of our children. Christmas comes with stockings from Santa, a special thoughtful present from Santa, and the rest from Mom and Dad. They are always grateful for what we get them, and they never throw fits about wanting things beyond our means. They know that there are limits on what we can do, but they know our love and the love of Santa Claus is limitless.
Why is this important? Because everyone needs to know there is good out there. That people can care for those they’ve never met. That we can have charity in our hearts for those in need and do what we can. You might not agree. Perhaps you’ve read this article and felt I’m insane/cruel/misguided. And maybe you’re right. But at the end of the day I’d rather see children have faith in others, than to let the holiday be defined by greed.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
