Why Do We Fall in Love With the Wrong People?

 I loved him more than I loved myself, and maybe that was my first mistake.

Why is it that we often fall deeply for the one who ends up walking away? We pour our hearts, time, and energy into someone who doesn’t see our worth. We become someone else, someone they like, and someone they approve of, slowly erasing our own identity to fit into their version of love.

If they dislike something about us, we rush to change it. We silence our joy to match their comfort. And even after giving our everything, our love, our loyalty, our soul, they still leave. When that happens, it doesn’t just hurt. It feels like the soul has been ripped out of the body, leaving behind a hollow shell.

Often, we fall the hardest for the wrong person. Even when they lie, our heart refuses to accept the truth. We cling to the illusion, believing every sweet word, every false promise. We stay up all night just to talk to them, risk our family’s disappointment, pray for them in secret, and cry for them in silence. And when they stop caring, it hurts more than words can explain.

They sleep peacefully, while we’re drowning in heartbreak.
They move on, while we’re stuck holding the broken pieces.

Falling for the wrong person feels magical at first. They make you feel special, seen, and irreplaceable. You believe no one could love you the way they do. And in that illusion, you destroy parts of yourself that you may never get back. When they finally walk away, you’re left alone, comforting yourself, drying your tears, learning to survive without them.

You stare at the moon and wonder, “Why does it look broken, too? Why hasn’t it found its light?”

It’s painful to accept that the one you loved so fiercely may have never truly loved you back. You begin to question everything, even love itself. And from that pain, a dangerous belief is born: all love is a lie, all men are the same, and no one is safe to trust.

So, please, don’t destroy someone in the name of love; that kind of pain changes people forever. It makes them doubt love; it teaches them to build walls instead of bridges. A woman who once believed in forever may start to believe that love is just another name for pain, a mask for desire. Eventually, she begins to hate the very thing she once lived for.

If you can’t bring someone happiness, at least don’t give them heartbreak.

Bodies can be bought in markets, but a woman’s soul should never be the price

—

This Post is republished on Medium.

—

Photo credit: iStock