Faced with a “fork in the road?” It’s possible that changing the word you use to describe it can make it easier to move forward.
Have you noticed when you’re in the throes of trying to make a decision it’s often harder than dealing with what will happen after the decision is made? Why is that? Could it be that some part of us thinks if we decide one thing, we’re going to lose or miss out on something else? Most people move on choices and hesitate on decisions. Logically, they’re the same thing. Emotionally, they’re very different. A decision is often looked at as an unpleasant thing we have to do. A choice is usually seen as moving toward the better of multiple options.
Put another way, a choice feels like exercising a preference. A decision often feels like excluding one or more options. This is a subtle distinction between your heart and your head. Coming from your heart tends to create a mindset of choosing that doesn’t bring up feelings of decision resistance. Your head on the other hand is analytic, fast and calculated. Important, yes, and being aware of the difference is key to succeeding in business, life and love.
A lesson in Psychology 101
It’s necessary to understand the psychological factors to deepen your awareness as to why you do what you do and have the ability to change course if necessary. Stop for a moment and notice how you feel inside when you think you have to decide something. Go on, do it now … Remember this is experiential learning. Does it feel different from how you feel when you get to choose something?
Let’s look up the definitions of the words DECIDE and CHOICE. (My analytical friends are so proud of me right now!) So the root word of decision: DECIDE. It contains the Latin root of “cide” which means to “cut down or kill.” Suicide, genocide, homicide, pesticide, etc. You get the picture. Because the words we think and say have a lot of meaning to us, on a subconscious level- Neuro-Science and The Secret collide- Many of us experience at a subconscious level a lot more angst and inner conflict when we use the word decision. Our limiting belief system from the past or as I like to say “BS” from the past rears its ugly head and say, Wait!! Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
The B.S. Factor
When we feel that we have to decide something, LBS, or as I like to say Limiting Bull shit from our past creates anxiety in the moment creating internal conflict. We often buy into the BS that if we decide one thing, we will lose something else instead of seeing the bigger picture. Or any number of scenarios’s dealing with the loss of something “if I decide on that, then I lose out on x.”
A choice on the other hand creates a sense of freedom. Hence the bigger picture. CHOICE: The act of choosing; selection. The power, right, or liberty to choose; option. Haaaa… Now say it with me… Choice… How does it make you feel? When you CHOOSE or make a CHOICE instead of DECIDE or make a DECISION, notice what happens in your body. We truly have forgotten to slow down and let our intuition play a part in our daily lives and our businesses. Say “I CHOOSE” and immediately you get a sense of freedom. Your subconscious is at rest, peaceful and open. Paying attention to the words we use in our daily communications with others, no matter how slight, makes a huge difference in how it is heard and received as well as how we feel about it.
You got the skills baby!
Aside from raising the level of your skills at communication, an added benefit is realizing that there is no such thing as a wrong choice, there is only the choice we make in the moment; and the next moment and the next.
Originally published at www.sharonkaycoaching.com
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