Why It’s Difficult Changing From “Sinner” to Saint” in People’s Eyes

First impressions can be critical and despite our best efforts, we can still leave people with negative ones. There is, however, good news because even though you never get a second chance to make a first impression, you can with time correct those unfortunately negative initial impressions.

Why first impressions tend to stick

One reason these impressions tend to stick is, people, don’t readily like to change their opinions. Another is, impressions usually take a while to change especially when it means changing from sinner to saint than vice-versa.

According to a paper published by psychological scientists from the University of Chicago, published in Social Cognition, “people apparently need to commit just a few bad actions to appear substantially changed for the worse, but need to commit many good actions to appear substantially changed for the better.”

Thus impressions can stick but they can also change over time.

More good news: people’s impressions can evolve

One way or the other you too have probably changed your opinions about more people than you care to remember. This happens the longer you interact with people.

Likewise, if you want people to get to see the real you differently from the initial negative impression they have of you, you can but it will take repeated positive interactions. In fact, as one Harvard study suggests it typically takes eight subsequent positive interactions. So you will need to be patient and persistent.

“Impressions usually take longer to change when it comes to morphing from sinner to saint than vice-versa.”

5 ways to gradually change people’s perceptions

Lead with the right persona from now on

For instance, projecting strength or power doesn’t necessarily make people warm up to you although many tend to think so. Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy advises, “but in general I really think people make the mistake of over-weighting the importance of expressing strength, at the expense of expressing warmth and trustworthiness,” concluding, “I think this is a mistake.”

Focus on building trust in subsequent interactions:

Building trust is one sure way of creating stronger, deeper connections between people in a way that erases any earlier bad impressions.

And according to Cuddy, there are a few ways you can convey trust in an interaction. For instance, you can start by giving people the opportunity to speak first by simply asking them a question, and getting them to share things about themselves.

When you give people a chance to express themselves and feel they are being understood, she states, “it can be incredibly disarming.”

“…it typically takes eight such subsequent positive interactions. So you will need to be patient and persistent.”

Display your authentic self

People will always appreciate your authenticity when they come to see that your actions always align with your values. This also leads to trust, trust makes people more receptive to you, and therein lies your opportunity to change earlier bad impressions.

On your end, being authentic makes you more confident and puts your more at ease to create more positive interaction and make more meaningful connections. Yes, sometimes you may need to fit in but it should never be at the risk of losing yourself, your character, or your integrity just to cater to other people’s interests or expectations.

“Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good.” — Alan Cohen

Use body language and facial expressions to your advantage

People generally can’t escape making judgments based on appearances. And while there is precious little you can do about such things as your height, weight, the shape of your face, or your receding hairline, you can use body language to tactfully counter negative impressions.

Positive nonverbal cues you can use effectively in this way include:

eye contact,
an open posture that signals you are open and friendly,
nodding while listening,
observing personal space,
the tone of your voice, and
smiling.

By being conscious of your body language you can prevent sending out negative cues that can only serve to reinforce already negative impressions.

“This leads to trust, trust makes people more receptive to you and therein lies your opportunity to change earlier bad impressions.”

Always maintain a positive attitude

Aside from the many benefits of positivity brings to your health and your relationships, the positivity you project will also reflect in everything you do for all to see. So even though you feel like burying your head in shame because you flubbed your first chance to make a good impression, the best course of action is to stop cringing and start projecting a positive attitude instead.

“Positive people have more friends which is a key factor of happiness and longevity” — Robert D. Putnam

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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