What’s good, everybody? This isn’t my typical post about music; I wanted to bring this topic up for a few reasons: we all have done it, currently experiencing it and we can’t stop doing it. Whatever it is, hopefully this helps you get away from it. I’m going to share some of my critically acclaimed wisdom to you guys. Below, I will give a few reasons why we ignore red flags in relationships.
1. Place the Pedestal Aside For a Minute.
What I mean by this, is that we can be heavily infatuated with the person that we are involved with. After a few dates, phone calls and hugs, we think this person is EVERYTHING to us, and unfortunately, it makes us blind to red flags or that this person is completely flawless or can do no wrong. We’re very quick to put someone on a pedestal. Take things slow, and put that shit aside for once. Make sure you’re not walking into something that you will regret in a month or two. Don’t lose yourself over a person that you barely know. The euphoria clouds a lot of judgment.
2. Moving too fast. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.
I think we all know what this means. I’m guilty of this. We have a tendency to like a person so much where we don’t pay attention to the duration. Just because we like someone, doesn’t mean we have to jump into something so fast. That’s when shit hits the fan. We rather learn someone in the relationship rather than taking time to know the person before we even decide to get with them. Backwards. Do not recommend. We move too fast with people. Period. I believe that (especially in this era of dating), patience, wisdom and time is key to figure out if this person is really worth the vulnerability that you may possess further down the road. SLOW DOWN. I promise it’ll make life much easier and less stressful for you. While people say that time doesn’t matter (and sometimes it could not), we’re looking out for self first and trying to avoid getting hurt again.
3. All By My Lonesome.
I swear it’s ok to be alone until you know what you want from a woman or a man. Being single isn’t bad. Having time to yourself to reflect and love yourself is a time like no other; however, we don’t give ourselves time to breathe before getting with someone new. It’s because we hate that we’re lonely. We get so excited that someone actually likes us, so we go ahead and go through with dating, when we’re clearly not ready to. This could tie in with not being true with ourselves as well. We look at our peers with their significant others and dream that it could be us. We long to be loved, cared about, thought of; that drive brings us ready to be involved in something that we’re not ready for. Before we decide to get in those situations, try being alone for a minute; know yourself, value yourself, love yourself & repeat.
4. A Band-Aid Doesn’t Fix Everything.
This is probably my favorite one. Not only do we ignore, we also think it’s minor. We think that a red flag could be something we can fix ourselves, but let’s stop & think. What makes you think you can fix something that they haven’t put effort to fix themselves? Good question right? Putting a Band-Aid on that shit doesn’t help your case at all. We do think that all these red flags can be minor because of how infatuated we are with the person. I’m here to tell you, it’s no such thing as a minor red flag. That same shit you think is minor, will be the same issue that will drive you fucking nuts. When you’re in love or want to think the best of someone, you’ll make excuses for them, instead of retreating. Remember, you are not responsible to fix anything you didn’t break; don’t betray yourself.
5. Trust Issues (With Your Damn Self).
We don’t trust our own judgment. Sometimes we know the issue at hand may be, but we don’t go through with it. You sense some bullshit, but proceed anyway. Another form of self-betrayal. Trust your gut. YOUR GUT FEELING IS ALWAYS RIGHT. I will always stand by that.
6. Keep Dreaming.
Wishful thinking. Ahh yes. Some more bullshit. When we’re in love and also in some toxic shit, the most you’ll do is keep thinking that things will get better. It only gets better if they want to do better. This bullshit thinking of yours will only prevent you from seeing things as they really are.
This seems to be about it. If you have any additions, drop them below or if you know me personally, feel free to hit me up! Thanks to all that read!
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Bryson Henry