It’s halfway through our Sunday service and I motion to my oldest boy. “Will you go and share your testimony?”
He nodded no.
“Is it worth a quarter-pounder with…”
Before I could finish, he was on his way up to the pulpit. The kid can’t resist a McDonald’s burger. On the rostrum, he expressed his faith through an experience he recently had. It was just moving enough, and a courageous act of vulnerability. It also showed a willingness to do something outside his comfort zone to please his parents.
Worth way more than $5 to me.
Yes, I bribed my son to participate in a church meeting.
Meta IA image of A kid church minister at a colorful pulpit
But all my kids are there with us every Sunday. No bribes. Compulsory attendance. It is habit, so it doesn’t feel to them like we make them go.
But we do make them go. Why?
Here are a baker’s dozen reasons.
They need to be around other adults who love them. They know, to one degree or another and in various situations, that we love them unconditionally. We believe it’s important that they experience a similar love from other adults — the deep, Christian love that we know will help make the world a better place for all. At church, it feels like the world is a good place.
They are safe and can be independent. Church participation gives our kids more opportunities to do things with other people. They can have these experiences without causing us worry because we know the other people participating are wise and caring. Church youth programs encourage growth by giving our kids opportunities to do things on their own within a framework of healthy supervision.
They learn to speak in public. Our church gives people of all ages opportunities to speak publicly. They also give our kids a structure to learn how to speak. This includes guided practice, modeling, and feedback in small groups. Then they are thrust into situations where they can speak in front of the entire congregation. When my 15-year-old spoke, it was in front of 250 people. It didn’t rattle him because he had been doing that since age 8.
They learn music. A big part of the teaching and worshipping programs is music. They sing. They listen to the piano. They practice both over and over. I learned to read music in four parts at church and my kids are picking it up now. They learn how to lead music and interact with other musically talented people. While music is disappearing in public schools, it is thriving at church.
They have fun. Youth church leaders are skilled at designing activities that are a blast. We want our kids to experience lots of fun things in life: rock climbing, mini golf, noncompetitive sports, camping, skiing, and much more. We don’t always have time to do these things as a family. Church provides them regularly.
They are around other respectful kids. Schools can be sources of stress and mental health threats. The Lord of the Flies tendencies that can take hold at school, where cliques form and competition is encouraged, disappear at church. Not everyone likes each other, and kids will still devolve into immature beasts. But the entire enterprise is organized on the principles of love and mutual respect. Kids know that and they largely demonstrate it.
Time away from other things. Kids need a break from school, from electronics, from pop culture. Church gives us that time away, on schedule. The different pace and focus are good.
They get inspired. Each Sunday our kids hear messages about honesty, perseverance, service, love, compassion, goal setting, humility, forgiveness, and many other virtues regularly. It is character education at its finest. It makes them think about how to improve. It makes them think about how they should treat others.
They learn about God. They need this more than ever. Even if they are nonbelievers later in life, they are learning a framework for how to think about the divine, the meaning of life, and their purpose in existence.
They get opportunities to serve. Through our church organization, each of our kids have helped clean a river, delivered meals to the sick, visited people in a nursing facility, helped out at a homeless shelter, done yard cleanup for older neighbors, and many other things. They need to understand that there is joy in selflessness. They are not going to learn it without practice, and church allows them that practice.
It keeps us honest. As parents, we often need reminders about how to behave. We have frequently and publicly declared our commitment to a virtuous life. Going to church as a family helps us stay true to that commitment.
We are churchgoers. American church attendance continues to decline, sadly for us. We want our family to feel like they are bucking a dangerous trend.
They look good dressed up. Not at all to be minimized, our boys need to learn how to tie a tie, wear a suit, coordinate a belt, socks, and shoes. Our girls love wearing their dresses and doing their hair more stylishly than for school. They all need to practice behaving appropriately in their Sunday best. Polishing up is a skill that they will have mastered through church attendance.
There are other reasons to attend. No doubt our kids will develop their own reasons for going, even if it requires a quarter-pounder from time to time.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: David Beale on Unsplash
