Got shot down by a hottie at the gym? Got dissed by a bombshell at the bar? Fantastic! Here’s why.
What’s up? It’s me again. Your favorite grizzled, flinty, Gen X geezer writer. Let me put down my Zima here, and talk to the men-folk out there.
I’ve lived a long, interesting life. I remember when MTV used to show…music videos. In fact, that’s what MTV stands for, Music Televis. Anyhow, I’ve been around the block, and I’ve learned some things.
One of the most important things I’ve figured out is also one of the biggest bummers ever for guys. Nearly every hetero dude will, in some period in his life, see a hot woman, and go gaga for her. When I say hot, I mean scorching. I’m talking about a perfect ten. A dime piece. A hottie. A fox. The apex predator of beautiful women. Cindy Crawford in the early 1990’s. Pam Grier in the 1970’s. Blake Lively today. Or Kerry Washington. You get my drift. This woman will drive you crazy. You’ll be willing to buy her dinner at the most expensive of restaurants. You’ll call her nearly everyday, if you can get her phone number. You may even do stupid shit to impress her. You’ll drool over her Facebook pics.
And, she may not want you. At all.
You may not have a shot at dating her, getting to know her, or sleeping with her.
And that’s fine.
As men in America, even though there are scientific studies that prove that people in general tend to respond more favorably to “attractive” people, we (guys) are conditioned to not only notice a “hot” woman more so than an average looking girl, but we’re conditioned to believe that we have to make a play for her. It’s part of the male trifecta that we’re taught we have to aquire when we’re growing up. Men have to have a hot car, hot wife, and a nice house. That’s why guys who are threes go after women who are tens.
And that’s why many men beat themselves over the head, literally and figuratively, when they can’t pull a bombshell. Questions like, “Why doesn’t she like me?”, “Why doesn’t she notice me?”, and “We went out on a date, why haven’t I heard back from her?” will pop up in their heads. Tons of guys will demote themselves to the social/dating D-League because they’ve failed to land a hottie they’ve been perusing.
Once again, fellas. If you’ve struck out with a hot woman, that’s fine.
Why? Because, the hot woman that you may like doesn’t have to like you. Let me rewind that. The hot woman that you like, doesn’t have to like you. You may be a guy who has a great job, and a 2015 foreign luxury car. The hottie might not be impressed by your toys. You may be a guy won the genetic lottery, and you may be a ten yourself. The gorgeous woman at the bar may not be attracted to you. If you are an average looking guy, and you’ve chatted up a breathtakingly beautiful woman at a social event, and told her jokes and made her laugh a few times, that doesn’t mean that she’ll give you her number. The breakdown? Just because a woman is hot, and men have been programed to go after hot women, doesn’t mean we will “get” a hot woman.
My advice, fellas (if I haven’t lost you already), is to concentrate on the women that you naturally vibe with. The women that you meet, or have met, and you have near-instant chemistry with, are the ones you should pay attention to. In most instances, those are the women you’re supposed to date—or get to know. The woman that’s seen Star Wars as often as you have and can quote the movie verbatim, just like you can, could be the keeper. The woman who makes you smile when you see her number flash on your smartphone or the one who makes your heart dance when you read her Twitter posts may just be your real “hottie”.
That’s enough advice from me. You know us old folks, we need our constant naps. I’m gonna go to sleep, while watching this episode of the Ricki Lake Show on my VCR.
The first Ricki Lake Show.
Photo sabrebiade Flickr