I’m sitting in my hotel room in Santa Barbara. My little little boy is having a nap. My other (less little) boy is out with my wife riding on a surrey.
And I’m in my room with the window open listening to the ocean breeze and writing.
And I’m wondering to myself – why is it so hard for me to let go and just enjoy some vacation down time?
I am a doer. Always have been. Probably always mostly will be.
I’m the same guy who had to win first place in the Karate tournament as a six year old or I’d lose my shit.
I’m the same guy who got into every college I applied to – but was waitlisted for Stanford – and which do I remember more clearly? The colleges I got into or the one I didn’t get into? I’ll let you figure that one out.
And now I’m the same guy who has trouble switching off when I’m not working on…something.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with my “achievements”, or the disciplined mindset around accomplishing tasks and crossing things off my list that has gotten me to wherever I am.
It’s part of me.
But just like anything – too much of a thing – whatever the thing – can turn into a problem.
In my case, it’s letting my mind rest, relax, and enjoy a mellow moment in Santa Barbara with my family.
What are the symptoms?
For one, I find myself reaching for my phone when there’s absolutely no important reason that I need to be. Just to see what’s going on with work.
Solution: I’ve left my phone in the room several times when we go out. And it feels…weird.
But it also feels amazing.
Solution two: I’ve made a deal with myself to check in on emails once a day.
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately? lol) I can’t completely check out of work. There are certain ongoing projects I’m working on which “need” me.
But I can limit my mental involvement. But even that needs to be structured. If that makes sense?
Symptom number two: I woke up from a “work dream” in the middle of the night and had trouble going back to sleep.
It was something unresolved in my mind and it came for me in the middle of the night.
I feel like that was part of a quick detox I’m doing.
Solution? I’m writing about my experience right now and it’s helping me. Maybe it will help you too or someone else who reads it.
Maybe you’ll identify a little bit.
Because my suspicion is that I am not completely unique here.
I believe that we’re in an ever expanding world of human doers. With screens and important jobs and responsibilities that validate us.
Is all of this “bad”? God no.
But also, what if I take five days to unplug and enjoy come beach and hotel time with my family before the beginning of the school year?
Can I do both? I’m trying. I’ll let you know how it goes…
Ari Welkom, known on stage as Avatari, is an LA-based alt-rock singer and actor. A Harvard graduate, married father of two, and former college athlete, he practices martial arts and champions anti-bullying, equal rights, and unity on his journey of recovery. Follow him on Instagram or Twitter (X)!
See his videos on YouTube
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
