Handshakes can change the world.
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I want to matter.
Right about when I graduated from high school I started realizing that I wanted be more than just another guy who went to school, got a job, and worked until I could retire quietly and play golf. That life path didn’t match who I thought I truly was. I realized I wanted to be something more. I don’t know what sparked that realization for me, but I remember during my first years of college sensing a desire to be something, to make a difference, to leave a legacy.
We matter to the people in our lives. We matter through the people in our lives.
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To matter.
What a big task, though! How could I go from being a regular guy to being something so much more? Did I need to get rich first so I could donate money? Did I need to start a virtuous non-profit organization? Did I need to walk across the continent in some grand gesture of meaning? I didn’t know then, what I know now. I know now that we can all matter if we just understand the simple steps to get there.
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First, I learned that there are two ways in which we matter in this world.
We matter to the people in our lives.
We matter through the people in our lives.
We humans are social animals, so the story of our life is mostly written by the relationships we have (or don’t have). Of course you matter to the people with whom you choose to invest your relationship energy. You matter to your parents and family. You matter to your partner and children. You matter to your friends. You matter to your fellow organizational members. You matter to the people you bring into your life, so you could say, the larger your personal social network, the more you matter.
But that kind of mattering wasn’t enough for me, personally. I wanted to matter to society, not just to the people I knew.
Then I heard Margaret Mead’s famed quote, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has.” I realized she was talking about organizations. She was saying that the only things that have ever shaped our world are organized groups of cause-driven people.
This was a big deal. That’s how I could matter to the world.
So, I started with handshakes. Because handshakes, when done right, can lead to conversations. And if I got good at conversations, I could build relationships. Relationships are where most people find others with whom to collaborate around the causes that matter most to them. And people collaborating soon realize that they need other people to help them achieve their goals, so they build–you guessed it–organizations.
In essence, we can matter if we keep in mind these five principles:
1. Handshakes lead to Conversations
2. Conversations lead to Relationships
3. Relationships lead to Collaboration
4. Collaborations lead to Organizations
5. Organizations Change the World
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How do you matter in this world?
Handshakes are the first step, and so often people shake too few hands each day.
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Get social. Connect with more people and talk about the things that matter to you. Talk about how you want to make a better world. Start conversations with, “The world would be better if … ” and see where it takes you.
When you find someone you want to work with and something you want to work on, start recruiting more people.
Organize.
That’s how you matter to society.
But it all starts with your ability to connect with others. Handshakes are the first step, and so often people shake too few hands each day.
Start there.
See where it leads.
Go.
Matter.
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Image credit: janetmck/flickr