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Do you have idealistic notions of what it’s like to be engaged? Once it happens, you’ll realize it’s actually a really strange intermediate period where you aren’t necessarily dating, but you also aren’t quite married.
Knowing how to handle this phase of your relationship will prove to be quite helpful.
5 Tips for a Blissful Engagement
Being engaged is great – but, quite honestly, it’s a little weird. You know you’re getting married, but aren’t there yet. Are you supposed to act different? Do you suddenly start calling each other fiancé, instead of boyfriend and girlfriend? Do you have conversations that you avoided when you were dating?
With so much to figure out, here are a few tips to help you manage:
(1) Just Relax
“Wedding planning can quickly become very busy, so we highly encourage all newly engaged couples to spend at least one full week in simple engagement bliss,” For Your Party suggests.
There’s no rush to move from engaged to married. Even if you’re working on a relatively abbreviated timeline – less than six months – taking a week to relax isn’t going to be detrimental to the wedding planning process. Giving yourself some time to enjoy the moment will prove highly beneficial in the long run.
(2) Develop a Timeline
After relaxing and enjoying the moment, buckle down and develop a timeline. This timeline will keep you disciplined and ensure you don’t miss out on anything.
Start with the actual wedding day and then work backward. If you have a wedding planner – or a parent or friend who has recently planned a wedding – talk to them about how far in advance you need to do certain things (such as secure a venue, hire vendors, send out invitations, etc.).
(3) Get Counseling
Between fancy engagement parties, showers, and wedding planning, there’s plenty to be excited about – but it’s not all perfect.
“You never expected the downside: whisper-fighting in wedding registry departments and slammed doors over the wedding guest list,” Lisa Carse writes for The Knot. “The engagement period can be a minefield of hot topics that can trigger huge blowouts. Sometimes a seating plan isn’t just a seating plan—it can be an indicator that a larger issue is at bay.”
Whether you have no major fights or you fight all the time, it’s always a good idea to get some marriage counseling during the engagement period. You’ll learn more about each other and get some advice on how to proceed with the new phase of your lives.
(4) Stop Trying to Please Everyone
You can’t make everyone happy. You’ll have friends who ask you to plan your wedding around their social calendar, family members who want to be heavily involved in a certain aspect of the wedding, and even parents who insist on inviting all their friends to your big day. While you may be able to satisfy some requests, stop trying to please everyone. This is your day! Nobody has to be happy but you and your partner.
(5) Accept Advice Sparingly
You’ll get a lot of unsolicited advice during your engagement. People will tell you how to plan, which vendors to use, what to do on your wedding day, where to go on your honeymoon, and how to have a happy marriage. But be forewarned that it’s just as easy to receive bad advice as it is to receive good advice. Accept advice sparingly and trust your gut.
Enjoy Your Happily Ever After
While engagement is filled with a variety of emotions – including confusion, anticipation, stress, and anxiety – it’s mainly filled with excitement. As you await your happily ever after, be sure to enjoy the moment and focus on your soon-to-be spouse.
Negative thoughts and emotions won’t do anyone any good.
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Photo credit: Getty Images