You’re Not Too Old — You’re Making Excuses

In 2022, I was driving to Dallas for my first CasaTiktok event, hosted by Tiktok, to meet different Latinx creators, make content together, and talk about life as a content creator.

My Tiktok days were a lonely time period, since no one I knew was doing the same thing and even if they were making content, they had made it around their personalities. No one else was handcrafting things or had as much to edit or the added layer of creating an item that also had to get views, along with the other sides of being an influencer.

I was so excited to be there and chatting with a girl that I ended up hanging out with for the rest of the night. The party was set up with large tables — everyone had to sit with others. I sat at a table with a group of funny creators that talked about what they do outside of content, how they schedule it, what they noticed performs well, and then I brought up that I had a kid.

“Oh wow! Really? How old is your kid?”

“They’re nine!”

The table got quiet. I knew everyone was doing the mental math. I knew then that no one at this table was close to my age.

“Giiiirl, you don’t look like you have a nine-year-old. How old are you?”

I have two ways I answer this. I either say, in a dramatic old-lady-style British accent with a gasp, “You never ask a lady how old she is!” Or, I just answer the question.

I chose to just answer the question.

“I’m 33.”

“Oh my gooood, you don’t look 33!” “I would have never thought that.” “I thought you were like my age!”

“How old are YOU?”

The question was followed with numbers ranging from 21–25. I smiled and shrugged. “yep! I’m 33.”

I was trying to own my age but shifted a little, feeling uncomfortable with what might earn possible judgment at sitting with them.

“You just give off a lot younger energy!”

When I was Younger

I was an isolated, abused, and extremely controlled child. Everything I did was under scrutiny, even if I wanted to join honors clubs or special choirs in school.

Everything I did was met with an attack. If I wanted to be in band, I was accused of only wanting to be in it “for the guys.” If I wanted to straighten my hair, I was told that I was trying to be promiscuous. If I showered, my father would ask, “who are you trying to impress?” This is on top of the other abuse I was experiencing — if that gives you a clue to what else might have been going on.

I was used to be told that I seemed a lot older. I had an “old soul.”

It’s been weird to be in my mid-thirties and be told both.

Being an Adult

Growing up is an on-going process, but I’ve made it a mantra to remind myself, “Oh yeah, I’m an ADULT. I can do WHAT I WANT.”

This means if I feel like I wanna wear summer dresses with tights and platform boots — I can. If I want to have half of my face covered in glitter, I can. If I want to make books out of trash, learn to sculpt, make content where I dress up as a cat and play guitar, I CAN.

My rule has been, “If it’s not hurting other people or myself, then no one should have a problem with it.”

This is what I think being an adult is, and whenever I hear anyone say they’re “too old” to do something, I definitely challenge it.

“Too old” is an excuse for the truth

How are you ever too old for something that doesn’t actually affect anyone else?

I see so many comments under viral GRWM videos from women my age or older saying, “Oh, I’d love to wear that but I’m too old for that.”

Girl, you stop that. Clothes are clothes and trust me, the fashion industry wants your money regardless — it is NOT making clothes for just one age group.

Whenever it’s about trying a new hobby or craft, I see and hear people acting like they couldn’t possibly start. “I’d love to crochet but I’m too old to start all over on a new hobby.” Whenever it’s about experiences that they wanted to have when they were younger: “I’m too old to learn dance.” “I’m too old to go to that concert.” “I’m too old to make content.”

What bothers me so much about these statements is that they aren’t actually true.

The honest statement behind them is something else:

• “I’m worried that I would look silly wearing that because my body and face are older than the person showing it.”
• “I’m worried my brain is too old to learn to how to crochet and I don’t want to experience struggling with something that I maybe could have done faster when I was younger.”
• “My body takes longer to build muscle and learning to dance will be more difficult than when I was younger.”
• “I believe no one wants to see content made by someone my age and I will feel embarrassed being an older person on a platform.”

I do think some things have some truth behind them. For a concert, I think the true statement would be, “I get tired very early and do not have the energy to be surrounded by energized younguns and won’t actually enjoy myself because of that.” That is just real sometimes.

But these excuses are just ways people allow themselves to limit their adulthood and keep restrictions on themselves, based on ideas that have no real truth behind them.

• Maybe you’ll look silly in that outfit, but also, maybe you’ll look hot and love it.
• Maybe you build muscle learning to dance.
• Maybe you notice that after you start learning to crochet, your brain starts forming new neural pathways to learn information and you actually get better at learning new things.
• Maybe you realize that there are people your age that want to see themselves represented in content, and that they love feeling seen and heard.

Maybe it’s all a bust. But you never know unless you try. And today is the best day to start, since you’re never younger than today.

Takeaway

I want to be 80, unabashedly wearing a leotard with a tutu and tiara if it makes me feel good.

I want to be trying new things because even in my mid-thirties, I realize there’s a lot of things I’ve already tried and also a lot of things that I still want to try. The chance to experience something new instantly piques my interest: it’s like when a dog hears the word “treat.”

Any day can be our last. I don’t want to ever sit and think, “I wish I had worn the thing, tried the thing, done the thing” and realized that I didn’t out of fear of judgment or because of some ungrounded belief that I was “too old.”

The only thing we’re actually too old for is excuses.