Remember those coin-operated peepshows where you could drop your laundry money and watch “models” writhe behind a smudged shatterproof pane? Yeah, those were the days.
Then Giuliani transformed Times Square from a smut-drenched adult playground into a glossy, soulless Disneyland, and that ’70s sleaze went bye-bye.
But wait: it seems the Feds have modernized peepshows and brought them back! The difference is that we’re the stars now—and we don’t know it. Not only are airport full-body scanners taking nudie pics of us, these images are being saved, and in some cases sent back to the scanner manufacturer’s offices for a rousing good time in Floyd’s cubicle. (You know Floyd. He’s that guy that smells like Fritos.)
Last summer the Transportation Security Administration claimed “scanned images cannot be stored or recorded.” Well, that story has changed significantly. U.S. Marshals just admitted they’ve stored over 35,000 of these full-frontal photos—all from a single courthouse scanner in Florida. Then there’s the D.C. courthouse that accidently sent an unspecified number of these saucy, private images back to the manufacturer on the scanner’s harddrive.
Sexy!
The Transportation Security Administration told The New York Times that 317 of these devices are now in use at 65 United States airports.
About 500 should be online by the end of the year, the agency said, and another 500 are expected to be installed next year. Ultimately, the agency plans to have the new machines replace metal detectors at all of the roughly 2,000 airport checkpoints.
Full-body scanners have ruffled a lot of feathers. The Allied Pilots Association, which represents American Airlines pilots, called these digital pat-downs “a disgusting breach of a pilot’s privacy and dignity” and tried to rouse a boycott. The ACLU, naturally, called bullshit as well.
You’d be hard-pressed to find, um, gratification from the captured images, but the breach of privacy—and the colossal whoopsie of keeping and distributing them—sets a pretty high standard for a new breed of smut.
Thanks, America, for making my dreams of becoming an unpaid, unaware porn star come true.
The Feds aree building another database to match your financial information, the public record and now an image of your body so that you can be targeted by any other part of the organs of state security. Trust us! Right.