Josh Bowman puts aside his skepticism and judgement and imagines a world of change and possibilities (trying his best to do so without judging himself or cringing or making a sarcastic joke).
From childhood to adulthood, I learned to become more skeptical, harder-edged, and more pessimistic about my future. I’ve learned to accept a nihilistic society, and have been so over-whelmed by how cruel and divisive our world is that it seems pointless to try to make a difference.
I’ve learned to avoid vulnerability, and protect myself. All of this has contributed to me being a more cynical, depressed, and judgemental person. I’ve told myself stories about how the world works, and have begun living in a reality that corresponds with those stories. Only, today I have to ask myself…
What if those stories aren’t true?
What if the world has the potential to be a wonderful place? What if I have the potential to be a wonderful person? Or…hey! What if I am already a wonderful person?
What if the way things are now is not the way they will always be?
What if I do deserve to be loved?
What if there is someone out there for me? What if I’ve found them already?
What if my past isn’t real and I can change my future immediately? What if I am not bound by my guilt and my mistakes?
What if there’s still time to be fit?
What if there’s still time to be educated? What if I can go to the library today and start reading about something new?
What if I can get better at my attention to detail? What if I can teach myself to remember names, dates, and facts?
What if people in my life do love me and care about me?
What if I am not the centre of other people’s gossip and hatred? What if nobody really cares if I made a mistake?
What if my boss/co-worker doesn’t hate me, she/he just had a bad day?
What if I do have the ability to change the world in a profound and meaningful way? What if we could drastically change how we power our cities, transport ourselves, and live our daily lives? What if consumption wasn’t our sole driving force?
What if poverty wasn’t a fact of life? What if we truly defined ourselves by how we treat the most marginalized people?
What if I didn’t have to be in debt? What if our governments didn’t have to be in debt? What if we could all live off a little less?
What if I could judge others less, and accept the differences of those around me? What if I could judge myself less, and accept my own quirks?
What if I am attractive?
What if it’s never too late?
If you’re reading this, close your eyes and imagine this world is the one you live in. Really try it, even just for a minute, without judging yourself (believe me, I am the first person to roll my eyes and be skeptical about hippy-dippy new age b.s. like this…or at least I have been).
It’s pretty great, huh?
I think this is our world. I think that we have tricked ourselves (or been tricked) into believing it isn’t, but I think it is. I don’t know what it means, and I don’t know the next step…but I think it’s time I (we?) stopped being so cynical.
Image of helping hands courtesy of Shutterstock
Josh, Deep essay. Scattered, but heartfelt and real deep. And I don’t mean that in even a remotely facetious way. I would guess, and you are welcome to tell me if I am wrong, that you you are going through a period right now where you either don’t have a woman, or the woman you are with is putting you through some changes that you are having a hard time putting a handle on. I am in the same boat, and quite frankly I don’t know if I should bail or row, so I try to do both. One thing… Read more »
Josh, I am a cynic. Or more accurately, I’m the kind of guy who believes everyone else is a cynic – at least those who aren’t stupid saps. So I might as well be a cynic, because I expect only what a cynic expects. Part of it for me – and I wouldn’t be surprised if it were for you too – is that cynicism so often goes hand in hand with excellence. People who achieve highly and consistently – especially men – tend not to have a gentle, accepting view of their worlds or of themselves. They have a… Read more »
I can only speak from my limited, personal experience, but what I’ve found is that as a strategy, bullying and pushing myself around and having a “harsh” outlook has utterly, profoundly failed. Shutting myself off from other people and playing the masculine role of never showing vulnerability, and assuming everyone else is either a bastard or a chump, has failed, making me miserable and no closer to my goals in the process. This world might be an extremely unpleasant place, with some crappy rules to follow. But some of those rules are actually quite helpful and worth following, and those… Read more »
I realized today that my office is focused upon what people “can’t do” over what is possible… and it is an issue. Why not focus on what people bring to the table over what they left at home?
Regarding work, a friend of mine once said, “I always just assume everyone is doing their best.” I was floored. I always assume everyone is an idiot. It has become a very inspirational statement for me. It’s not so much a reminder, as a goal: Can I someday believe that everyone is doing their best?
Thanks Josh, great article. Oh, and I think you’re right. I think reality is subjective and what grows is what you give your attention to.