On Monday, Annie Lowery of Slate wrote about a recent survey conducted by economists from Duke and Boston College on the science of high-school dating. Lowery said the study “confirms every suspicion you ever had about high-school dating.” And she’s right.
Guys want to have sex. Girls don’t. Senior guys date younger girls, while freshmen guys and seniors girls get screwed.
But the report only deals with the unisex high-school experience. What about the all-boys Catholic high schools? This survey isn’t helping any of those guys. Sure there are some similarities between unisex and all-boys schools—mainly, that wearing one of those one-strap backpacks is never cool—but most of it is totally different.
I would know. I was there. And from 2002 to 2006, I conducted my own “study” of all-boys Catholic high schools. Things may have changed over the past four years, but after following up with my brothers—current high-school seniors—my results were verified.
So, without further ado, I present to you the Eight Scientific Facts of Attending an All-Boys Catholic High School:
1. The louder you fart, the cooler you are.
2. The price of your wardrobe is inversely proportional to your popularity.
3. Glee Club actually isn’t that gay.
4. Hair maintenance is not an option. Ever.
5. No one actually knows who the starting quarterback is.
6. Chess club is the least nerdy club you can join.
7. If you don’t shower with your classmates, you’re weird.
8. The number of girls you—wait, who am I kidding?
is it bad for a guy to be gay
“Guys want to have sex. Girls don’t.”
Girls want sex, but they don’t want to be known as easy. Girls understand game and sex is a powerful manipulator.
“Senior guys date younger girls, while freshmen guys and seniors girls get screwed.”
Another example of female hypergamy. Senior girls are banging college guys.
My all-boys school in england wasnt religious – and we had an all girlls school next door although fraternising wasn’t really allowed!
The general rule was just like in prisons – don’t show weakness no matter what. You could be what you wanted, as long as you had a cocky level of conviction about it. Also your rules on farting and hair definately stand!
I think a disproportionate amount of people from my year actually turned out straight, I’ve always wondered exactly why that is.. any thoughts?
Deffinetly my favorite article so far.
The British all-boys school experience was oddly similar. Key lessons:
1) It’s cool to be good in class, but it’s REALLY cool to be good at doing crosswords in class.
2) If you aren’t on one of the sports teams then no one really knows why you bother coming to school.
3) None of you will meet girls until you hit about 16 and it takes years to adjust for the missing social skills. I mean, the last decade or so and I’m still just awful.