So your best friend is about to marry the most unstable woman you’ve ever met. What do you do?
Let’s add a little fun dimension to this. You’re at a party one night. You open the bathroom door and that lunatic woman is making out with another guy only a few months before your friend is scheduled to marry her.
She looks at you and she smiles. Then she corners you and says, “Don’t say anything to him. That was just an ex, and I really needed to just get that out of my system before we got married.”
Is it your place to say anything to him? I think it is, and I’m going to share something with you from my own personal experience.
Back in 1987, my best friend Mark was about to marry a woman I didn’t particularly like. I’ve known Mark since I was seven years old. I didn’t particularly like her because I found her to be very controlling and a little uptight sexually. From what he described to me, she just seemed like she had an underlying plan and I didn’t trust her.
When I asked him how the sex was with her, he said it wasn’t that great but was nice enough. He told me he wasn’t even that attracted to her, but that he felt he should marry her because she was the nicest woman he’d ever met.
That’s the problem about being in your mid 20’s. We tend to go off and marry someone who’s just so nice to us, but yet we’re not really into them.
About a month before Mark’s wedding, I confronted him and I told him that I didn’t think he should marry that woman. I also told him all the reasons why I didn’t think he should marry her. I had it all written down on a piece of paper, so I wouldn’t forget anything.
Do you know what happened? He ended up marrying her anyway, and I wasn’t the best man at the wedding.
Guess what happened fourteen years later? You got it . . . He had to write a really big check when the two of them got divorced. He had to move out of the house he bought.
Being the controlling woman I knew she was, she started manipulating the kids and telling them what a horrible father they have. Now two years after the divorce — after all the messes and financial cleanup has been done — his own kids don’t talk to him.
A real and true friend will be honest regardless of what the outcome is going to be. Your friend will make whatever decision he is going to make no matter what. He may marry the crazy, manipulative woman or he may listen to you. He may actually open his eyes and realize you are only looking out for his best interest. Regardless of what decision he makes, a true friend will still tell him how he feels.
Welcome to a really hard time of adult adolescence called honesty with your friends. Don’t sugarcoat things anymore.
They’re dating a nut or are about to marry a crazy woman, then you as their friend better try to shake them into reality. They may be dating that woman or marrying that woman based on their own insecurities or their own fear of not being able to meet someone else. They lack an abundance mentality when it comes down to meeting women.
So you need to wake them up — and wake them up fast — because that divorce is going to cost them a lot of money in the future.
Previously published on davidwygant.com and is republished here under permission.
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