In film and television, manhood often means making moves without asking questions.
Call it being assertive and confident or simply being smooth with the ladies. But don’t leave out the real descriptor: silence. Intimacy and sex in film and television are nearly always at the expense of words. The crucial first-time move – the lean-in for the first kiss, say, is usually done by the man and is usually done in complete silence. That’s what makes it masculine and cool. He’s super aware and “feeling the moment,” but what impact does this have on the way young boys and men handle themselves with women? Might this influence those many young men who get their cues for how to be around women from what they see on TV?
Out of curiosity I spent time on YouTube looking up famous “kissing” scenes from the manly men of our time – James Bond, Clint Eastwood, etc. The one consistency is that they straight up went for it. The “coolness” came from their boldness, their innate and inhuman ability to read the moment, their inner confidence that the woman couldn’t possibly not want them. So they made a move with staggering certainty. No questions asked. Usually the woman went with it, totally swept up in undeniable masculinity, except in this case when she sorta kinda calls him out:
Does this “no questions asked” mentality carry over into other aspects of relationships? Especially when a great article can gain plenty of reads because it offers the alternative – asking questions – as its chief advice:
There is a “simple trick” to women but it isn’t something that tabloids and gossip channels would have you believe. The trick lies in doing one thing over and over. Ask questions. There simply isn’t some way that you can learn to figure her out without ever talking to her.
Brothers, it’s okay and even great to feel and move with the energy of the moment. But if you’re ever uncertain (and even if you’re not) there’s nothing wrong and a whole lot great with simply looking her in the eyes and asking: Can I kiss you?
The 7 A’s of Hooking Up. Notice the key word?