By Jessica De La Mora
She has a history, of living in constant crisis.
She never knew how much she was worth.
People put her down and reminded her she was no one.
She believed them, that she was worthless, because her father could not stay out of prison long enough to see her grow up.
Every day when people asked if she was okay, she faked a smile.
After a while it came easy to her.
She has a mother and a sister and a father. But he has been paying for his mistakes behind bars since 2001.
She didn’t know what path to take.
A father’s guidance would have helped.
She veered onto the road of smoking weed and drinking tequila. A temporary escape from the things she held inside.
She loved writing, a therapy of sorts, where she could pour out all her pain. In quiet. All alone.
She never complained about her problems, feeling she would be a nuisance, wasting her friends’ and family’s time.
So she distanced herself from everyone, particularly those who cared.
When she felt like crying, which was often, she hid in the bathroom. Turned on the shower full blast so one would hear her cry.
She has lived 15 of her 17 years in crisis.
Of late she has found a way through words and trust and authentic smiles to grow stronger, more accepting of herself, of her history.
She loves her father who is still imprisoned.
And she is learning to love herself by shedding her shame and telling her truth.
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Photo credit: Getty Images