I Am …. an Ugly Doll
Every week I have the privilege of talking with different business owners and entrepreneurs. I consider it an honor to help talk through the business strategy and the challenges that they face within their businesses but as the relationships grow we often start to talk about who each is as a person.
There are two prevailing conversations that emerge and maybe you can relate. The first conversation is that they feel that they are the only ones who are dealing with the challenges of attempting to balance personal, family, and business time. The more they walk down this path it often results in feeling that the weight of the world is on their shoulders and their shoulders alone. The second is that they are pressed on every side to become something that they were not meant to be.
Let’s just focus on the second of these two conversations. Let’s take a risk and get real for just a moment. I know before jumping into this it is not a common topic and something that most business owners and entrepreneurs like or even want to talk about. However, the impact on your life is measured in more than just a dollar figure on a spreadsheet when looking at your monthly or quarterly report.
My daughter asked me to go to the Ugly Dolls movie. I jumped at the chance to spend some time with her, but what I didn’t expect was the impact this movie had on creating someone’s identity. While all the “pretty” dolls were running the show, there was a whole village of imperfect “ugly” dolls that all had the dream of entering the real world eventually. “To-Day is the Day” became their theme song and, as the story plays out they realize that their unique “ugly” has value and that they were all created in a special way – what was deemed a mistake had a purpose!
First, let’s look at the impact of this thought process and conversation.
Business owner, entrepreneurs, and creators are not on the typical life path that society has been embracing for the last several decades. All my life I have heard society telling me to follow their path, get a “real” job, go to college, get that degree, work 9 to 5, etc. When you are building your business you hear even more “advice” coming from every side telling you do this and follow this system and you will have a growing business. You will finally realize your dreams.
Maybe you can relate… What have you heard at your last convention or event? What is the latest fade or hack? What is it that you are really looking for?
Quick Tip: Stop chasing that next shiny object!
There are many different results that happen with this type of lifestyle but one main point is the amount of stress that it causes within your life. I am not a doctor but my personal experience with stress has directly affected my mental health, physical health and virtually every relationship I am in both personal and professional.
I was attempting to be just like everyone else. I was hiding my ‘ugly’.
It never ceases to amaze me at how much we overestimate our strength to endure the stress for a long period of time. I can tell you, while I was in the middle of it, it was killing me, literally killing me. If you are willing to take a hard look inside and, be completely honest with yourself, I am pretty sure you will come to the same conclusion. I also know that there is plenty of data about the effect of stress on our bodies. Even to this day, experts are still unsure of how detrimental the effects are over a long period of time.
What’s the solution?
- Identify your strengths.
As I said before, the message that is present, day in and day out, on a loudspeaker from every side is to be like everyone else. This leads to the belief that we need to hide the things that make us unique or “ugly”. We attempt to find an identity of who we were meant to be through what others are telling us or what we think the world is expecting. Take some time to search for tools that will help you find your strengths, or follow me on Facebook to learn more about the tools that will help you find and develop your strengths.
- Embrace your strengths.
WOW! Don’t underestimate the power of you. When you embrace your “Ugly” people will relate more to who you are and not what you are attempting to portray. The movie Ugly Dolls showed this toward the end when one of the dolls missing a tooth, was embraced by a child missing the same tooth. The message is loud and clear, there are others out there that need to hear your unique message. They are dealing with the same challenges, and just don’t fit with what society calls normal. News Flash: No One is normal.
- Focus on becoming the best “Ugly doll” that you are able to become.
Stop chasing every other trick or hustle that someone claims are the best path to success. Your uniqueness is what gives you the edge-up in your business. When you embrace this uniqueness and create your story around who you are, then people will pay attention and recognize your greatness.
Don’t get caught up with attempting to do and run your business just like everyone else. Yes, there are foundational type principles that allow a business to run smoothly and operate with a certain amount of effectiveness, but every business leader and entrepreneur is unique and thus making every business unique. What worked for one coach or guru, may not work for your market or skill set. Don’t be fooled by the hype and boisterous talk of smooth-tongued speakers.
Be your own “Ugly doll”. Embrace who you are, and keep reaching to grow to your full potential.
Previously published here and reprinted with the author’s permission.
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