By Darlene Silva
18- It’s been three whole months since my mother and I have seen my father. At one point in my life I thought that he might be gone for good. The last call that I received from my father was on New Year’s Eve telling me that he was going to get better.
17- I feel hatred towards my father for missing out on the important parts of my life. I wonder how my father could afford to miss out on the special and bad moments when I needed him. My father didn’t teach me how to drive. I learned driving by signing up for driver’s ed.
16- My father didn’t give me the help that I needed when I had anxiety when entering high school. I was afraid to leave and go home because I didn’t know if there was a chance my mother and I might run into my father. He threw a red bike light at our living room window, and the window broke.
15- I didn’t get to dance with my father at my Quinceañera.
14- When I lose my temper I’m afraid I’ll turn out to be like my father.
13- I remember getting the last birthday card from my father.
12- It’s night, and the table where I eat has been flipped over because my father picks fights with my mother. The food from the table is on the kitchen floor–fruits, sandwich bread, cereal box and an empty blue water jug.
11- My father went into my mother’s bedroom to talk to her about how sorry he was for picking fights with her. By this age I knew the routine for getting ready to leave just in case he did something. I would stay on my toes by putting on my shoes and jacket.
10- After going through the trauma of my father’s violence, I felt wounded, as if my childhood was stolen from me and all that was left was sorrow. Little did I know it made me the strong and brave young lady I am today.
9- I found out from my mother that I have a half sister born to my father before I was born.
8- I experience anxiety for the first time.
7- I’m yelling at the top of my lungs, saying “Stop it!” multiple times while my father fights with my loving, caring mother.
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4-It’s the afternoon and I’m sitting at the dinner table watching my parents arguing in the living room.
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0- I wonder if my father made a promise to himself to never let anyone or anything hurt me? Didn’t my father know not to let his anger get the best of him?
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