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When you are digging for your voice and you find it is buried in the flurry of rage, then you know the conversation can only go south and there would not be a meeting in the north, west or east. It is hard to have a civil conversation with anyone if your voice level is higher than the average outside noise level.
The ability to hear is hindered by the power of the rage. You cease to have an open ear of a listener, but a closed ear battling fear is what is left to attempt to listen in this room. It is hard for a person to hear when they are drowning in fear.
For years, if I thought I was not being heard, I would raise my voice level and intensify the rhythms of my words, while sharpening my tongue. My conversation always seemed to fall on deaf ears. If I had had more compassion for myself and my partner in the conversation, I would have changed or clarified my language in order to be more effective and useful enough to complete the goal of expressing an idea to another human being.
Rage does not engage the want of a person to lean in and get up close and personal.
The coldness of rage does not warm the heart, nor does it create a state of empathy.
I have learned with age and time to listen and hear the storyline before attempting to give a book review. You can’t hear unless you are listening.
Your Dictionary states,
“The definition of compassion is someone who shows kindness and empathy to others, or is something or some act the expresses kindness or empathy.”
I was hoping to get some empathy. I did not know I was not ready to give it. I cannot be in opposition to who I profess I am.
If I want someone to listen to me, I must learn to listen, in return.
If I want someone to understand my story, I must be willing to understand the paragraphs and chapters of their story. I must know the value of my story before I can value the worth of your story.
I must want resolution and equal sharing of ideas before we can begin the dance of partnership.
I must choose and value words that illustrate my ideas and I must take the time to understand your illustrations and their fine lines. I must identify with their feelings.
Empathy is the ability to identify with another person’s feelings. I must identify within the context of this conversation with an open mind and heart. I am willing to see through new eyeglasses. I will value you as I value myself. I must remember any sense of future will include you and your presence because we are in this together.
Merriam-Webster states compassion as,
“sympathetic consciousness of others distress together with a desire to alleviate it.”
When one has empathy for another, the knowing and understanding of the pain allows you to respond in compassion. This can only be true if you are willing to find the language to have that needed conversation of intimate trust.
The language will come organically as two parties meet in trust. The open hearts will produce the words that bind the spirits in trust, words that live outside of fear. If the thought is one of a solution, there is usually an answer. We are so conditioned to stand in opposition.
We need to stand in unison. We need to stand in agreement of purpose, clear communication.
When we speak words, they should be words spoken in honor, as we listen with ears of compassion. The language will come organically as we create a new modern ritual, rooted in tribal trust. What is good for one is good for all. It takes a village to raise a child. This is a calling for a conversation, a calling for a high, high invocation.
We want to raise a child of peace and solution and may we work together. We don’t need any more blues songs.
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Photo Credit: Pixabay