—
My cousin, Mike (we call him Handsome Mike in our family) who keeps up on technology, (he has a smartphone, a laptop computer and a convertible) told me about a breakthrough in the science of hunting.
With Thanksgiving coming and this is a boon to hunters everywhere.
Hunter, it’s what’s for dinner. |
Until this important advance, a hunter had to sneak up behind the turkey and smash him over the head with the pan. This was not always easy. Turkeys can get big and mean, with a superior sense of smell and vision and a human sensing radar.
I remember the tragedy of ’87, when we had a few too many beers and decided to go get the Thanksgiving turkey with nothing but a sauté pan, a gravy boat, and a soup ladle. It was a disaster, we lost two distant cousins and a great uncle. Nobody was too thankful that year. I can’t talk about it too much because of the gag order enforced after we settled the lawsuit.
We learned to go armed with 14″ skillet, a cast-iron 5-quart dutch oven, and a square grill pan with a corrugated bottom, and plenty of spatulas, steak knives and one of those wicked-looking cleaver things they use in Asian grills. Normally, that was plenty, but if the turkeys sensed your presence and managed to perform a flanking maneuver and roll up behind you, well, I pity the hunting party that makes that mistake.
Technology is wonderful, isn’t it?
*Which is not that technologically advanced, but he is very happy about it and it only seemed right to mention it.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock