Poll: Men, Are You Afraid of Growing Old?

Well there are many of us good men today that really wanted to find a good wife to marry and have a family, but with so many women nowadays that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, is the reason why many of us are all alone now which most of us are Not single by choice.

I think for men it’s more about a loss of ability and strength than a loss of looks (though that definitely plays a part). As a runner and someone who stays active, I worry I might not be able to do five-minute miles or go to the gym regularly as I get older. And if I’m not fit, what will I become?

I haven’t read the rest of the thread, but I must admit; as a 30 year old man, very recently separated with a son, I am terrified of growing old. I am more scared of growing old alone than I am of death. Voted yes.

To: MidwestMatt, I read a lot but don’t recommend many books. One I do like, though, is Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, How to Finally, Really Grow Up by James Hollis,PhD. I’ve read a few of his books and they all pretty pretty much contain the same message, which I summarize as: We all have baggage; most of it we don’t even realize we carry; No one but yourself can make you happy; and It’s important to learn to be content in solitude. I’ve read this book a number of times, just to remind myself of its… Read more »

“Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.” As a Black man in America, I grew up in the 1970’s in New York City. The area I lived in was affectionately called “Hell’s Kitchen.” Violence was high and most of the young men I grew up with are now dead, many of them before they reached the adulthood. I personally watched several gun down before my eyes, victims of drive-by violence, long before it became popular here on the West Coast. I expected to be dead by 18. When I turned 17, I left New York to go into the military, figuring… Read more »

So, the notion that “nothing bothers” men when it comes to aging is dispelled. With age there seem that the fear of death and the fear of declining health and declining looks are pretty evenly distributed among the commenters here.

So, how about women? I guess the stereotype is that women are most afraid of their looks when it comes to aging. Are the grey bunny slipper and other sagging really the most scary thing about getting older for women?

Right before age 30 I was diagnosed with acute leukemia and given no more than a 15% chance of living two years. My only child, a son, turned 4 while I was in the hospital. He’s now 38 and his son, who will turn 5 next week, is staying with Grandpa and Grandma tonight and the next two. I got more than I ever wanted out of life–everything after age 30 was gravy. I’m now 64 and have no complaints. I can do pretty much anything I want to do, although I have to rest more and everything takes longer,… Read more »

Of course men are scared of growing old. Think about the men that DON’T have families, or even a significant other. Your body and mind are whither away, and without being into God seriously.. these things will make you feel like everything is at an end (instead of almost a new beginning – like it should.) The biggest fear though if beauty. You spend all of your teen / 20’s having fun, trying to get things accomplished, and when you hit your 30’s (and some 40’s) you start realizing that time is flying by, and that you’re now getting older.… Read more »

For me personally, until about a year ago, I was expecting to be dead by 30. Primarily anticipating being a victim of police violence. But being 28 now and not quite as staunch an activist as I was, I am actually starting to take care of my body. On the other hand, looking at things like global warming and such, I still don’t expect to live past 45.

My biggest fears about growing old are rooted in my family history. My father died at 52, my grandfather at 50. My uncles all have heart problems in their early 50’s. It is less about physical appearance for me than it is about fearing the rapid decline of my health. I also worry about things like alzheimers and cancer as those types of disease often affects your family and loved ones in ways that exposes them to witnessing your gradual wasting away. It makes me really sad to think that one day my kids and my wife may have to… Read more »

Like many who have posted here, I have a ton of health issues and the worse thing is sitting in my man cave (den) thinking about this stuff. All I can do is live a day at a time. The reality is that my wife will outlive me and I’ve done what I can to make sure she’s taken care of when I’m gone. There was a movie in the 80’s where Jack Weston (actor) was obsessed with his aging. I don’t want to be like him. I have to live a day at a time is all and make… Read more »

[…] These are comments by William Harryman, drood, and Jamie Parsons on the post “Poll: Men, Are You Afraid of Growing Old?“ […]

Like seemingly most men here, I fear “aging” more than Death itself. I have a family history of high blood pressure on both sides, heart trouble (Dad’s side) 4 of my maternal aunts died of brain tumors , my father died of cancer at 58, I am a Type-II diabetic. Genetically speaking, I don’t have a snowball’s chance. Yet to me, it’s far more unsettling to think of the prospect of being unable to be mobile and independent, losing control of my mental faculties, having nothing more to contribute….in short, being “useless.” I dread the prospect of retirement; and my… Read more »

Yeah, I fear getting old, or should I say OLDER! I’m already 58, in constant back and joint pain, getting more’forgetfull’ every day. Hey Bill, you think having kids and a wife means they’ll be someone to take care of you when you’re old? Once you can’t provide, you become a ‘burden’, and as we all know, ‘burdens’ are shipped off to the nursing homes. Better to keep a .357 by your bed in case you need to ‘help things along’!

No, I’m not affraid of aging. The only thing that truly saddens me about growing old is knowing that someday either me or my wife will live without the other (for some unknown period of time).

Ideally, if we both age in good health and remain self-sufficent, I’d like to expire on our own accord at the same time. If someone could promise me that ending I would welcome the Reaper with open arms when the time came.

To be honest, I don’t think I’ll live past my early 40’s. My father died at 42, and I have that in my head as the end of my lifespan. I realize that it seems crazy to think I’ll never make it past my early 40’s, but I have that as a reference point in my head because that is when he died. I’m in a rush in life, because I am worried I won’t squeeze in a whole life’s worth of accomplishments and experience before my early 40’s.

Yes, I am 41 and I worry about prostate cancer, Alzheimer’s, lack of mobility…

I am afraid of growing old for one reason only, getting trapped in the nursing home system. As marriage is currently a bad deal for men, I am not getting married, having kids, or starting a family. This means that there will be no one to look after me when I start losing my faculties and need a nursing home. Even if I did had kids it wouldn’t necessarily help. With the high probability of divorce, my (ex-)wife could easily turn my kids against me, putting me in the same position WRT nursing homes as if I had no kids,… Read more »

Honestly, growing old terrifies me. I really could care less about wrinkles, grey hair, saggy testicles, and aching joints. I’m not a vain person, and I know the people who love me could care less about what I look like. I’ve experienced more physical pain at 21 than most people could accumulate in ten lifetimes, so that doesn’t frighten me. The thing that terrifies me is mental decline. I lost my grandma on my dad’s side to Parkinson’s, and my grandpa on my mom’s side. I saw them fall from extremely bright individuals to bed ridden people who recognized no… Read more »

Terrified. Unlike most here, I’m even willing to cop to the (mostly) vain reasons for it. I don’t want to get wrinkles. I don’t want to have to put in ever-increasing amounts of exercise to have a body half as nice as when I was 20. I’m not a very hairy person, and I’d like to keep it that way, too. I go to the dentist regularly, but I’m still terrified of losing my teeth.

To be honest, I’m kinda short and plenty poor. Good looks are all I’ve got going for me.

I’m not afraid of getting old, I’m already getting old and in some eyes, I am old. But it’s cool being older. I have a mountain of experiences and continue to make new ones. What sucks about getting old is that your health goes down hill no matter how much you may work on good health. Body seems to do it’s own thing. Milestone in my aging was the birth of my grandson. Wow, I’m a grandpa (Upa) …. But with him, I found a revitalization in life. New experiences, new challenges …. It’s GREAT! The weird part is that… Read more »

I am not crazy about the ideas of getting gray, wrinkling and such but I truly can’t stop it anymore than I can death itself. The one fear I have in growing older is loss of mental facilities. Alzheimer’s runs in my family and the thought or idea of having it happen to me terrifies me. I actually try not to concentrate on it too much. I watched my family go through that and how it effected everyone. I seriously wouldn’t want to place my family in the same position.

Aaron

I won’t mind at all being old. The only fear I have of old age is losing my wits. My grandfather is 85 and still a strong, working man. In fact I think if it turns out well, growing old with a family and looking after children and grandchildren sounds idyllic. Also the looks aren’t bad either. White hair, beards, even baldness can look awesome with old age.

Growing old doesn’t bother me (but I’m only 45). FEELING old would bother me. As long as I remain curious about all the things I don’t know and haven’t done, as long as I have energy and strength (I am religious about working out and eating well), and as long as I feel good about what each day has to offer, I can handle gray hair, some wrinkles, and trifocals.