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The curriculum for “Life Skills for the Modern Man” has changed a lot in the last century. Guys don’t have to know how to saddle a horse or milk a cow. They’re seldom called upon to do The Charleston or tie a bow tie. So that’s all good, because I don’t know how to do any of that.
But there are 7 Life Skills that I consider to be necessary for the modern man to get by in the world today. I was doing pretty well on checking them off, but that was before my girlfriend’s ex, my dad, and I tried to put a new clutch in a 1996 Honda. Three guys, one car, and the men were definitely not the winning team.
So here are 6 things I do know, and one I’m determined to learn:
#1 — I know my way around a kitchen.
I may not know the difference between matchstick and batonnet, but I can cut up carrots well enough to make a mean beef stew. I do know the difference between a saucepan and a skillet, a chef’s knife and a bread knife, and I’ve figured out why some recipes insist you need to sift the dry ingredients.
So I might not be considered “gourmet” but I can ensure that I will never have to resort to eating out of cans and boxes and I can whip up a meal that will impress any reasonable dinner guest.
#2 – And…. the rest of the house.
Unless a guy is going to take laundry to the cleaners and hire someone to scrub the tub and toilet, he needs to learn basic household things like: Do not wash his sweaters and colors on warm (learned that the hard way) and when to use a dust mop instead of a broom. No matter where you live, you’re going to need to learn how to navigate some basic household chores. No, that isn’t women’s work—it’s just work and it may never be my favorite thing to do but I’m glad I know how to do it right.
#3 — I’ve learned when to talk and when to listen.
Not that I always do what I’ve learned, but I consider this one of the most important life skills a guy can master if he wants to have lasting relationships. That’s not because … women. That old cliché that men want to fix things and women just want them to listen isn’t as gender specific as men, and possibly women, would have you believe. The truth, I’ve found, is that there are times where the best “fix” is the chance to just talk it out and have someone they trust really listen. On the flipside, it is equally as important to be the one who needs to do the listening as well. Open and trustworthy communication is a great skill to have if you want a loving, lasting, meaningful relationship with your lover, but it’s also great with friends, family, neighbors, and even random people in grocery stores.
#4 — I’m good with kids and critters.
As it happens, I really like kids and animals. But even if you don’t, other people do. If you want to endear yourself to those people you’ll want to learn how to talk to a kid without sounding like a condescending librarian, how to ooh and aww over infants, and how to know when cats, dogs, or even lizards want to be stroked and when they’ve had enough of that nonsense, at which time it’s a good idea to stop. Opening your heart to earth’s smaller creatures shows a level of compassion and warmth.
#5 — I get tech.
I’m a Millennial, but contrary to what you may have read, technology didn’t come pre-installed. Computers are like our second brains, so a good working knowledge of software solutions and hardware components is like being able to do brain surgery, on yourself.
#6 — I’m a search engine maven.
Closely related to the tech mastery is using technology to find anything you want. A request for crème brulee? That’s easy. Anyone can search “crème brulee” and even if you can’t spell it you’ll still find Alton Brown’s fabulous recipe. But the real reason this is an essential life skill isn’t because I can find what I want to know, it’s because I can find what other people want to know. Which makes me a hero. But it was overconfidence in that sixth skill that was almost my downfall in the seventh.
If there is any life skill that has gotten continually more important in the last 100 years, it’s car maintenance. Automobiles started clogging the streets after World War I and they’ve only gotten more popular and more complex since then. But they’ve also gotten more dependable and easy to take for granted. Like many people, there was a time in my life when cars were just boxes that you jumped in when you needed to get from point A to point B.
One of our “boxes” was a 1996 Honda Civic. We kept it because the thing just wouldn’t die, it was perfect for putting the dogs in the backseat and running out to the lake for a swim, and it went practically forever on one tank of gas. That, and I was secretly fond of it. As I got to love *that* car, I became more appreciative of *all* cars.
It had been part of my life for a long time, and I wasn’t ready to give it up. But when the clutch and the brakes both started complaining at once I had to give some serious thought to whether it was worth fixing. Then I got the bright idea that I’d just order the parts and fix it myself. After all, “there’s no excuse for a guy not to be able to learn anything he wants to know if he knows how to get creative with search terms,” right?
I’m not sure what would have happened if my girlfriend’s ex hadn’t been visiting us at the time. Usually when you chose a life partner you inherit their family, when Dixie and I became a couple I inherited a great friend in her ex, Tom.
Luckily for me he totally had me beat at number 7. Which made him the hero that day.
#7 — I’m learning how to do basic auto repair and maintenance.
I’d Googled and YouTubed until I could talk the talk and the task at hand didn’t look all that difficult. So I got my dad to give me the use of his garage and I set to work. That’s when I found out that the top results in a Google search weren’t always the best results. And that a lot of people who could “talk the talk” made videos that didn’t lead to “walking the walk.”
YouTube suggested that the sound I’d been hearing was actually a ball joint, so I decided to replace those too. As suggested in multiple videos, I rented a lower ball joint removal tool from the nearby auto shop. But it wouldn’t fit even after spending several hours of fumbling around in the cramped garage.
Tom and my dad stepped in and between the three of us we finally got that Honda back on the road. What finally did the trick? In testosterone-fueled bit of frustration, we decided to whack it out with a hammer. And eventually we hammered it out. Thanks to Tom and my dad, we got that Honda back on the road. It would have been a humbling experience if they hadn’t been so cool about it—actually, it still was a humbling experience. And I definitely learned my lesson —if I want to be a hero at this life skill I’m going to need more than Google and YouTube. I just don’t feel comfortable pretending I have this skill when I don’t.
UTI is for people who love cars and who want to turn that love into a skill and that skill into a career.
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For real “hero” training, I’d look to Universal Technical Institute. UTI’s training programs would have made taking care of my beloved car a no-brainer. They not only teach everything you need to know about practically every kind of vehicle on the road—foreign, domestic, diesel, marine, motorcycle—they’re even the exclusive educational provider of NASCAR! Hands on, practical experience—and I could marry my love of tech with my love of automobiles by learning current technology, hands on, in UTI labs.
UTI is for people who love cars and who want to turn that love into a skill and that skill into a career. UTI has a special skill of their own—-they have graduated more than 200,000 technicians during its 50 years in business. And UTI consistently graduates and places more technicians in the transportation industry than any other school in the country—-and it has campuses throughout the United States.
If you’re ready to be a hero give Universal Technical Institute a call and learn more about the programs they offer. Or connect with them online at WWW.UTI.EDU
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This post was brought to you by Universal Technical Institute. UTI cannot guarantee employment or salary. For information about graduation rates, the median debt of students who completed the program and other important information, visit www.uti.edu/disclosure. For a program overview, see here.
Hi Philip
I hope I am not intruding here on issue about what men themselves see as most important .
I am a woman and would like to share the type of skills it scares me the most if the man I am with lack that skill:
The skills to survive in this world .
In my experience many seem to lack this ability .
Life is not easy for anyone , but some are far better at dealing with crises and problems that arise than others.
Fun read, thanks!