For hundreds of thousands of men, it’s a very real and everyday struggle. Some days worse than others. Some seasons worse than others.
It’s a black hole you didn’t ask for and can’t outrun.
You feel lost,
Like you’re playing a game of hide & seek that’s turned into a nightmare of never being found.
You feel alone and isolated,
Like you’re never going to be able to trust anyone or anything and the deafening silence of your own solitude is too much.
You feel like giving up,
Like the world might be better if you weren’t here and “who would even notice?”
You look over insurance policies and make plans, romanticizing who would “actually come to the funeral” and what your family could do with the resources the insurance payout would provide.
You spend sleepless nights in tears, trying to write letters but never making it through the spelling of your child’s name.
You stare at your self in the mirror, countless times, pressing cold steel to your temple and reciting just how better off everyone would be.
You hate yourself for where you are, caught between wanting help, not knowing how you got here, and too depressed to see a way out.
You distance yourself. You isolate yourself. You live in a world of gray, desperate to see color again.
It’s all pride… whether we realize it or not…. and that pride is gin-soaked in fear.
The drinking and self-medicating increases, as you try to numb the feelings or worse…. try to get intoxicated enough to finish the job.
Distracted. Overworked. Overstressed. Isolated. Unrealistic expectations…..
It would just be “easier” if……….
HEAR ME.
You’ve got to get out of your own head, brother.
You matter.
Your life matters.
You have been created with purpose and you have to hold on to that TRUTH.
I get it. I do. I get being done.
I’ve been down that road. I’ve medicated. I’ve wished for the courage to end it…..
My heart breaks with yours as you battle this paralyzing and all-encompassing reality. I get you’ve been told to “pray more” and to “get over it” and to “think happy” and just “be happy.”
And I know you want to be, desperately. And I also know you can’t help this and wouldn’t choose it for anything.
You are not alone. If we know anything, it’s the MAJORITY of men are SUFFERING.
Understand that if you find yourself in this desperate state of emotion and thinking, you cannot trust your own thoughts.
You just can’t.
You need help.
Not in some way that belittles you or makes you think you’re crazy, but in a way that addresses the darkness of your perceived reality.
I’ve been told so many little irresponsible quips of quick fix, and unfortunately, I’ve passed them out as well.
Through my teenage years and early 20s, I was on several medications for my anxiety and depression.
Now, I manage my “waves” through powerful daily habits, keeping my mind and body in peak condition, and by surrounding myself with people who can keep me objective when my thoughts wander to the cave, because you never fully leave and it never fully leaves you.
Daily gratitude and affirmations coupled with journaling and a passion for understanding the brain and perceptive reality have been transformational in my journey, as well as the hundreds of men I’ve walked alongside.
Accountability has been pivotal. Some find that in a counselor or psychiatrist. I did, for 8 months… And then, the time came for less talk and more action.
I found the direction and guidance I needed in a coach.
I just needed to get out of my own way and out of my own head.
You need help because we need YOU. Your family needs you.
It will be hard. Honestly, it will be brutal if you allow it to truly transform you.
It won’t be a quick fix, but it will be a healthier journey than the one you’re on.
Because as we know, the quick fixes just make things worse anyway, don’t they?
You aren’t broken, you’re just trying to battle something bigger than you.
I am for you.
We are for you.
This isn’t a conversation of “man up” or “get your s**t together.”
This is a conversation of rebirth, and I can tell you that on the other side of all this pain…
Is the life and power you never knew could exist for you.
It’s time we had a long overdue conversation.
—
Previously published on Facebook.
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