There Is Nothing Wrong With Being Self-Centered

Last week I made a big decision. This decision required me to go “all in” on one thing and “all out” on another — something that no longer suited me.

It wasn’t made lightly. I weighed it on many scales, including that of my own morality and faith. When I finally figured out what was best for me, I delivered the news to both parties. The former was thrilled. However, the latter became infuriated.

Frankly, I was both puzzled and startled by the magnitude of the latter’s reaction towards me, especially as it was poured out all over me prior to my even being able to clearly share why I had chosen as I did. After a healthy paddling, the party that I had angered took it upon themselves to boil my actions down to one scathing statement, “You’re self-centered.”

Up to this point, I had kept my cool. Upon hearing this comment however, I couldn’t any longer. I shot back, “At 54 years-old, I hope so.” That response pretty much ended the conversation. I think it left them tongue-tied. I meant it, even so.

The fact is, having spent most of my life “giving, giving, giving” to everyone and everything in front of myself, there comes a point in every woman’s life when you are simply spent. That’s the point when you have a decision to make. You can either begin to take notice of yourself (and especially ‘who you are today’) and become centered in “you” through exploration, nurturing, and changes-made or you don’t. And if you don’t, you basically explode in some way, shape or form…none of them good.

I am confident that I am not a self-centered person in the disparaging way that I was accused of being. I also am absolutely certain that I am more self-centered than ever before. In that, I am more attuned to who I am in this skin of mine, currently, as well as where (if not, to whom) I should devote my time so as to be the most useful and effective.

If there ever was a wonderful gift that comes with age, that would be one of them. Another would be “identifying manipulation before it diminishes you into a puddle of mush then sends you back to your corner to lick another hundred more envelopes” so to speak.

I’m done licking!

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***