Tomorrow I will be a 65 year old man. The way I think, that makes me an old man. That makes me upset. After 65 years of thinking, I now conclude that what makes me upset is not being 65, but thinking. Not how I think about bing old, but that I think at all. Let me try to explain, so I may better understand myself what I am thinking, about the benefits of not thinking.
The idea that thinking is great is very popular. When the French philosopher Rene Descartes wrote “I think therefore I am” that got popular in a hurray. I always thought that was a pretty cool thing to say as soon as I thought I understood what Descartes was saying. On the eve of age 65, I am coming to believe that, “When I think I stink.” is better and that I never really understood what Descartes was writing about.
I spent many years counseling men with trouble related to substance abuse. Much of that work was supporting men to think about how they think and how that thinking could lead to their thinking about having a drink of alcohol or sticking a needle filled with heroin into their body again. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meeting attenders often call this “stinking thinking.” Many psychotherapists call what I used to do, cognitive behavioral therapy, with the “cognitive” part being the identification of “irrational thinking” and how to fix that, thought by thought.
I have been helped recently by what is known as Mindfulness Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I think that the “mindfulness” part is the best, because it involves not thinking, but more thoughts about mindfulness later, if you don’t mind. (If you do mind it is okay with me if you jump ahead. Whatever you think is best for you.)
It was the guy, Thomas J. Watson who named International Business Machines, (IBM), who wrote one of the shortest inspirational quotes ever. That would be, “Think.” This quote got posted in all IBM facilities Worldwide. It helped make a fortune. It lead to the development of incredible artificial intelligence software and the hardware to run it branded, “Watson” by IBM. The best chess and Jeopardy TV gameshow players now bow down before Watson. Doctors are beginning to follow. Who might be next? Not me. At least I don’t think so.
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I have recently returned to the religious practice I was raised in, the Religious Society of Friends. Now if you never heard of the Religious Society of Friends you might think that is one of the most ridiculous church names you ever heard of . You might have heard of “Quakers.” Same thing. Quakers represent more than a brand of Oatmeal and no they did not die out with the “Shakers.” The Friends thing comes from an idea that this group of worshipers would work on being “friends of the truth.” This include living life in a truthful manner such as charging all people the same price for goods and services that reflected a reasonable and modest profit. Quakers wanted you to know what was in their products, what they cost to make. They didn’t want you to buy something you didn’t really need or want. These practices gave Quakers a business advantage. Problem was anybody could put the word Quaker on their product and not disclose that they themselves were not Quakers and they weren’t going to tell you everything that was in the product with the Quaker label.
In makes sense that one of the biggest banks in the world, Barclays, was started in England by Quakers and so was one of the sweetest companies ever created, the Cadbury Chocolate Co.. How Barclays came to do to people what they do today is a long sad story. So to is why some of the best kept secrets are about what is actually in the candy you like so much, you can’t blame Quakers. They were run out of marketplaces long ago due to fear that this truth telling stuff could become too popular and begin to infect other things like government. Oh, the Quaker Oats Company, that had nothing to do with Quakers, other than ripping off their ethics for popular branding purposes.
So how do Quakers get into staying friends with the truth. They mainly sit in silence together. They do a lot of other things, mostly simple things, but it is this sitting in silence that most intrigues me.
Man are often heavily socialized to be in action. The “don’t just do something, sit there” skills often go under utilized by men. Mindfulness encourages men to not think so much about the shit life can throw at them, no matter who they think they are.
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Sitting in silence is a big part of mindfulness meditation. (See, I told you we would come back to that.) Mindfulness Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy adds some not thinking to the support of thinking and doing differently in order to feel better. In essence, mindfulness suggests that when it comes to thinking, don’t do it so much. Anxiety is conceptualized as too much thinking about the future and depression, as too much thinking about the past. Guilt would be thinking too much about some mistakes that were made. Not so much the quality of such negative thoughts, but their quantity is seen as being the problem here. A little anxiety, depression and guilt can go along way. Too much can get you frozen in crap.
Man are often heavily socialized to be in action. The “don’t just do something, sit there” skills often go under utilized by men. Mindfulness encourages men to not think so much about the shit life can throw at them, no matter who they think they are. Thinking about it less saves energy to duck when it comes your way and laugh when some of it hits you.
Me thinks that perhaps the Bible story of the Garden of Eden had it about right. When we think about how things work, we stop enjoying them. Running from danger can be enjoyable. So can morning death. Getting good and pissed, sure. Having remorse, of course. It is all how you don’t think about it that allows us to experience the joy of what thinking ruins.
I recently saw a cartoon posted on Facebook depicting two buddhist monks sitting cross legged. One said to the other, “Are you not thinking, what I am not thinking?” I thought that was funny. (Cartoon by P. Byrnes as posted on Tao & Zen Facebook page).
When you think about it, the vast majority of things you do, you usly do without thinking about it. Take breathing for example. Some things we used to think about a lot, like how to drive a car, we are grateful when we don’t have to think about it so much anymore. As I get older I found that as my reflexes decreased I needed to think more about how I was driving. This sucked at first. However, I must say I enjoy driving more than ever by paying more attention to where I am going and how the other driver talking on their cell phone, might impact that. I find that I don’t miss being able to think about six other thinks other than driving while I am driving, as much as I thought I would. I sure do miss the income, but not the felt experience of such multi-tasking.
I think, no I know, that my retirement funds are too low, but thinking about them doesn’t make them grow. I suppose this would be different if I had some significant cash to invest, but again I don’t like how worrying about making the best investment and reducing the degree of getting ripped off feels like.
I must admit, that much of my attraction to not thinking is related to the fact that I can’t do it the way I used to. I can attribute it to a symptom of having Parkinson’s Disease or I could call it what can happen as you age. There are many ways I can think about my decline in thinking ability, but the one that creeps me out the most is thinking about how all thinking may stop when I die.
Tibetan Buddhists think that learning how not to be creeped out like that is the main purpose of living. In this tradition one has arrived if one can notice that they are thinking their last thought and remain tranquil. I am beginning to think that might be a good thing to practice.
I have thought enough about this for today and tomorrow is my birthday.
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