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I had a revelatory moment. It might not seem like much to you reader, but it was a real eye-opener for me. That revelation is: There is no one I know or have heard of, who isn’t struggling with something. There is no one out there who has everything in their life just as they would like it to be.
More, there’s no one out there who even really knows why they’re doing what they’re doing. From supposed enlightened beings to the guy in the car picking his nose in plain sight. As long as there is ego involved there are issues. And as long as you don’t own those issues and acknowledged them, then there are even more issues.
Something happened when I had that realisation. Something in me just relaxed. I saw very clearly how we’re trying to appease or impress people in one way or another. Whether you’re Oprah Winfrey or the woman with 7 kids struggling to stay afloat. Each and everyone has some area where they’re either trying to appease or impress.
It may be for a good reason. For example, you might own a business and want it to grow. You may have a preference for creating certain products or services, but they don’t sell well. What you have to do then is create the things that do sell well. Those things may not represent your values or beliefs, but they do make the business profitable.
If you’re a successful music artist, who became famous because of a certain type of music that no longer reflects who you are, you may want to make a change. You make that change to honour your growth, and sell fewer units. You now have a choice. Be happy with the fewer units sold, or go back to a creative output that feels stifling.
You’re in a relationship and love your partner. The relationship, on the whole, is a good one. Yet you feel a spirit of adventure calling you. You want to skydive and conquer your fear of flying. You want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and show the world that you can reach even greater heights.
But your partner has no interest in your new-found adventurous spirit. Someone in this relationship has to compromise and appease for the relationship to continue to work.
Nothing wrong with compromise. It’s a sign of maturity. It’s also an acknowledgement that we are all going to rub up against each other. We are unique and what fulfils one, will not necessarily fulfil the other.
Whether you’re a baker or businessman, designer or data analyst. Whether you live in the Punjab or Paris. Young or old, rich or poor, there are endless ways we try to appease or impress in our daily lives.
This insight showed me how little I was willing to do either anymore. As long as I’m impressed with my own damn self, then that is enough. ‘What will people think of you?’ no longer matters as much. Should random people care what I think of them? I don’t think so.
We’re each here on an individual journey. How you choose to live is on you. What you choose to learn is up to you. Even if you shared a womb as twins, triplets or more, you came out of that womb separately and will die individually.
People will have opinions and make judgements. They will either lift you up or put you down, such is the nature of the human psyche. It’s a learned response. But allowing those opinions or judgements to be the reason you do, or don’t do something, ties you up. I’d rather free myself and let the chips fall where they may.
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