Singer Amy Winehouse died on Saturday at the age of twenty-seven. I didn’t listen to her music, so I can’t pretend to be sad that she’s gone in terms of her art. But while she was alive, it seemed that she was in the news more for her drug and alcohol problems than her music. Ironically, she had a hit song called Rehab. As I write this post, we don’t yet know how she died. But judging from what we do know about her struggles with drugs, we can’t help but think that drugs had something to do with it. Even if they weren’t directly involved, like with an overdose, her decisions all along would make you think that drugs were involved in some capacity. And that’s sad. So Winehouse joins other musicians who died at the age of twenty-seven for similar reasons. Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison are the ones that come to mind.
I am not a musician. Nor am I famous. Obviously. I’m just this guy who had the opportunity to slay a similar demon and continue living. And I was twenty-seven when it happened. Or, to be precise, I was three days shy of twenty-seven.
At the time of my epiphany, I was suicidal and homeless. I was blessed to recognize a clear sign that fateful day, and had nothing to lose by acknowledging it. I was tired of fighting with myself and so I grasped hold of something like a spiritual awakening and rode that pony until I was able to stand on my own. I felt free almost immediately. I’d never experienced anything like true faith before that moment. And haven’t felt that close to my idea of God since.
Losing Winehouse or anyone else to drugs and alcohol is sad because it’s one of the few diseases that you actually have control over. If you were diagnosed with cancer and your doctor told you that all you had to do to beat it was avoid eating potato chips – you probably would. Well it’s like that with drugs. All you have to do is abstain from them to overcome their curse. Drugs, and I’m looking at you alcohol and nicotine, lie to you. They tell you nothing’s wrong. And you believe them. Then they sink their teeth into your soul and become so familiar to you that the thought of turning away from them is pure folly. Mass commercialism of them doesn’t help, either. Besides, this is a free country. You can kill yourself if you want to.
As far as I can tell, the purpose of drugs and alcohol is to kill you. Yes, there are good drugs. And no, they don’t always kill you instantly. But if you smoke enough, you’re going to likely die unnaturally. Likewise if you drink enough. Or shoot enough heroin. The purpose of these things is to kill you. Why? Well, we could probably get into a long conversation about the marriage of heaven and hell, I suppose. But in my case, recovery was highly spiritual. And so if recovery is divine, then the opposite must also be true.
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Consider the well-respected corporate citizen who was returning home from a company party. He wasn’t a heavy drinker and didn’t use drugs. After only three beers at the party (clearly not enough to cause him to be drunk), he didn’t see a light change at an intersection and smashed into a family of six in a minivan. Both parents and two children died. The man survived. He wasn’t a heavy drinker and nothing like an alcoholic. But the effect of alcohol on his decision making caused him to misjudge his ability to control a vehicle – turning it into a missile. It was only three beers. Harmless. Yet, it changed the life of two children who lost their parents and siblings to the effects of alcohol.
Honestly, I can’t think of one good reason for drugs. Sure, you can joke and say that they make girls at the bar prettier, or they give people confidence to come out of their shell. You might even say that drugs help you unwind. And you’re not going to get an argument from me. But if you need drugs to help you talk to girls, then you’ve got bigger problems than using drugs, my friend.
Not everyone is an addict. Some of us are more susceptible to the lies of drugs than others, and so we become slaves to them. Only, thankfully, it’s a disease that has a solution if you’re willing to hear it. If you’re willing to give up your will and accept a path that requires faith in a power greater than yourself. It’s not easy. And yet, it is.
I don’t think Amy Winehouse ever had that epiphany. Or if she did, she opted not to acknowledge it. And that’s sad. If you’re an addict or alcoholic and you don’t have a foundation of spirituality – good luck changing. Because the lies will kill you eventually.
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This post first appeared on Jim Mitchem’s Obsessed with Conformity blog.


If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone talk about being homeless with a needle in their arm….sorry, but it’s just such a “go-to” for dramatic effect. In my (almost) 5 years of recovery, I have seen more people die of overdoses than I have in my entire short life. I know of people who took a few too many pills and drank on a single relapse, asphyxiated on their vomit while passed out and died. I’ve seen people come back from a relapse after having +10 years of sobriety and they are just as broken and… Read more »
I thought this was an interesting article – it comes off a bit “holier than though” – but I do not think you meant to do this, Jim. Nonetheless, it did. I believe Amy Winehouse wanted to be sober and could not ultimately get it – but she had sobriety for a while. There are many things at work with addiction and one of them is the significant impact on parts of our brain – specifically the pre-frontal cortex and the amygdala (as well as others.) Without getting too scientific and as someone who has been in recovery for over… Read more »
You’re right. I definitely didn’t mean for it to sound ‘holier than thou.’ I can only speak from my personal experiences. And they’re not deep enough to contain the experiences of everyone. Besides, I didn’t use these drugs. Not that I think that matters from a spiritual perspective – surrender in general is a bitch. Before it’s a relief. Thanks for your comment.
I didn’t get the “holier” pitch in this article. I thought the religious aspect was represented without any suggestion of superiority.
Jim, for my part, I understand what you are saying. Drugs and alcohol are evil. They want to kill. Or anyway it’s useful to think of them that way even if it’s not literally true. For a long time in my life I thought of alcohol as a dear friend who was always there to lovingly help me cope with the emotional pain I couldn’t face on my own. Recovery means knowing that the friendship offered by drugs and alcohol is a lie; that alcohol is not a friend but a mortal enemy who seeks my death. Of course that’s… Read more »
Nonsense on stilts. That’s good. I’m guessing you’d put God in that category too. There are forces of good and evil at work in the world my friend. You choose to deny this. That’s cool. Have a nice day.
God may be real, but the devil sure isn’t. If God exists, everything comes from God or is a part of God, so nothing can be totally evil. You choose to deny this, and get lost in Manichean fantasies where some things are “purely” bad (car accidents probably cause more deaths than drugs, would you say “the purpose of cars is to kill you?”) No big deal, you’ll probably get over it eventually, and in the meantime, good day to you too.
Nonsense on stilts is a polite way of saying it. I know this is an old post but this is just too ridiculous not to respond to. To compound it, you ignored all of Unbesorgt’s evidence and made a totally unsupported accusation about your religious beliefs being attacked. , The quote “Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so,” is from Shakespeare who I believe was a practicing Anglican and in any case not anti-religious. Good and evil come from people (and what ever other conscious beings exist) NOT from inanimate objects and substances. If the purpose… Read more »
“The purpose of drugs and alcohol is to kill you.” I’m sorry but this is nonsense on stilts. Like any substance, drugs are morally neutral. Only human minds can give objects a purpose, and like anything else, drugs can be used for good or for ill. Or as the bard so eloquently put it, “Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” If you honestly can’t think of “one good reason for drugs,” you should spend more time thinking about medicine. Anyone who’s ever had surgery is quite thankful that opiates exist, thank you very much. You… Read more »
Drugs are morally neutral until you are using them to avoid and numb out, and become addicted. I think they can definitely be used for good as well, but “drugs” aren’t just one entity. The author of the article is talking about drugs in the context of recreational use and addiction. Not medicine. Nobody shoots heroin or smokes crack for morally neutral and/or medicinal reasons. I use those examples in reference to the origin of this subject, Amy Winehouse. For an addict, the purpose of drugs and alcohol are to kill you.
I have to disagree on one point. I too slayed that demon many years ago. I have no “faith in a power higher than myself”. I credit myself for my sobriety and only myself. I didn’t go to treatment, and I don’t believe that a person can’t do it on their own because I did. I was homeless (because of my drug use) a repeat offender in the justice system and was using IV drugs daily for many years straight. I’m not bragging, nor am I proud of these facts, I just want you to get an accurate picture of… Read more »
Well, Jamie…whatever works. Jim needed what he needed to get sober and you needed what you needed. The point for me is that a happy fulfilled life for me needs more that just quitting drugs and alcohol. It requires a real look at oneself. Jim, it seems, found that through a 12-step group as did I. Unfortunately, Amy did not find what you have or what Jim and I seem to have. Congrats on your sobriety.
Could it be that you weren’t really riddled with the disease of addiction? I’m no expert, but in the dealings I’ve had with people who were afflicted – if they lacked a spiritual foundation from which to quit, they never really quit. Until death. It even happened to my father about four years ago. And you’re right, it wasn’t that hard. In fact, I never really know how to react when people ‘congratulate’ me. I had very little to do with it. Unlike you. Like I say in the post, if you don’t have a spiritual base, ‘good luck.’ You… Read more »
Over the last few years I’ve been hell and back slaying that same demon. Religion and spirituality are not my thing, I am a very practical pragmatic atheist scientist type. I had this same discussion with my counselor who found help through a 12 step program like you did. He explained that it wasn’t religion or spirituality that makes a difference, plenty of addicts have both in spades, so they couldn’t be the key by themselves obviously. It was his perspective that the real key is having meaning in life, to your life, and connecting to your own core values.… Read more »
Everyone seems to think I used a 12-step program. I did, actually. For a few years. But not before I heard God speak to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a religious man. I don’t even go do church. I don’t even agree with the idea of religion. I just had a clear and utter epiphany that couldn’t be explained as anything else. I risk seeming like a loon every time I tell people that God spoke to me (and it was only a few words – once) but it was enough for me to believe that I had… Read more »
Sounds like you had a very profound personal experience that helped you make the necessary changes. Thanks for being brave enough to put yourself out there and sharing your story, that takes a lot of bravery, and even if it only helps one single person, that is one life that is saved and made better, one family that will be that much better off. I agree that you can’t fight temptation day after day or you will break down one of those days, you really do have to refocus your life away from that altogether into a more positive direction.… Read more »
Just because you don’t go to treatment doesn’t mean you did things on your own. There had to be external support coming from somewhere, because when you hit a breaking point in your using, you don’t just wake up and decide to stop. You decide to stop and hit breaking points millions of times, and it doesn’t change your behavior. When people really get sober its because they use the tools around them to gain support and learn about themselves.