Michael L. Stoller would like to wish everyone a very happy holidays. Shouldn’t that suffice?
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I do not celebrate Christmas. While that is hard to believe, not everyone celebrates Christmas. Over the years this is something that I have struggled with and it often makes me become very angry during the holiday season. Recently, I was with my 4 year old son (Sam) at a car dealership getting my car fixed. While we were waiting, the lady behind the counter asked my son if he was excited about Christmas this year. Here is how the conversation went:
Lady: Are you excited about Christmas?
Sam: No, I don’t celebrate Christmas
Lady: Oh
Sam: I celebrate Chanukah
Lady: Oh, are you excited about Chanukah
Sam: No, it is already over
Lady: Oh, What did you get?
Sam: I got 8 presents and my big present was a drum set
At that moment, I was so proud of my son. He was not offended at all about what the lady had asked him and just spoke his truth to her.
Last year my brother-n-law and I got in a heated discussion about why it bothers me so much when people say Merry Christmas to me. He thought saying Merry Christmas means the same thing as Happy Holidays. I could not disagree more. After going back and forth for about 45 minutes, I decided he is never going to see my way so I just gave up.
As men, it is not always easy to speak the truth. Around the holiday season, I find myself hoping to avoid these awkward moments of being wished Merry Christmas or asked what my kids are getting from Santa this year. Depending on who the person is, sometimes it is just easier to say thank you. At other times, I speak my truth and let them know I am Jewish and I celebrate Chanukah. This year, I have been inspired by my son Sam. I will be more proud, honest, and truthful about who I am and what I celebrate during the holiday season.
So, what is my point? My point is to be more observant of others. While you don’t have to say Happy Chanukah to me, I would appreciate if you said, Happy Holidays. I am sure others would appreciate this as well.
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Photo: C.K. Hartman / flickr
Mr. Stoller,
Thank you.
I needed this today.
My son and I needed this, although he is too little to know it.
Shalom u’vracha.
I celebrate Christmas just as a secular day with family. It holds no faith significance for me. I live in Merry Christmas land, as in a multitude of fusses have been raised over saying or not saying it. I myself don’t say it, but I’m not willing to start something with someone who says it to me. On the occasions that I am asked why I say “Enjoy the holidays” or similar, my response is simple. I don’t assume that everyone celebrate the same holidays, or any holidays, but there’s a good chance that they are still involved, so I… Read more »
Thanks Michael for your post. You got guts. I’m sure you’ll get push-back from family, friends and others about your “oversensitivity”. I’m not Jewish so I can only imagine what it must be like to have to accept the kind Christmas greetings every year over and over again while keeping silent. Anything else would be ungrateful or over-reacting. I wonder what it would be like if every year millions of Christians were greeted with Happy Chanukah together with the traditional songs and menorahs everywhere they went instead. How tolerant and silent would they be. Are you kidding? Many are taking… Read more »
This is whats wrong … why not just be gracious and say thank you and appreciate the gesture . Why does it have to be ” Much Ado About Nothing ” Its not intended as something evil or malicious , Just be gracious and say “Thank You” …. It won’t hurt one bit to just let it go and allow someone to feel as if they have done something nice !!!
Gosh, you seem nice. Fact is, your brother-in-law is right: “Merry Christmas” seldom translates as “I’m here to enforce Christianity on you”; it is usually an expression of goodwill without prejudice. Sure, it’s based on an assumption that you celebrate the same holiday as whoever’s saying “Merry Christmas”. Is that really such a traumatic big problem for you? You say it is, but I doubt it. Let’s check: Do you refuse to eat Christmas cookies and candies? Refuse to buy anything included in a Christmas or Boxing Day sale? Mark Christmas cards from far-flung friends and favored businesses “RETURN TO… Read more »
I am happy when someone wishes me during any festival season. I was actually concerned today when the lady at the cash counter wished me “Merry Christmas” and quickly became apologetic about it and said “… or Chanukah, or whatever you celebrate”. I just wished her: “Merry Christmas”, right back with a smile. I feel sad that people should feel constrained in wishing someone a happy “whatever”. So, what is my point? My point is to be more compassionate with others. While you don’t have to say Happy Chanukah to me, I would appreciate it and enjoy it if you… Read more »
The Endangered Species Of Kind Gestures By Michael Nyland Hello Readers! First I think Michael’s “I Don’t Celebrate Christmas” title is poorly chosen. Plenty of people do not celebrate Christmas for any number of reasons. Rather the piece should be called something like “Don’t Say Merry Christmas To Me!” because his feelings about these two words uttered to him is the real topic of which he writes. Michael’s Stoller’s Brother-In-Law here as you might have guessed. Since I was referenced in Michael’s article I felt inspired to respond with the points I was also trying to make with him. Albeit… Read more »
Sitting here waiting for the grandkids to go to sleep so we can … ooops… Santa can decorate the tree. Glad I looked in to GMP to see what’s up. Mike, I’m with ya. Kind gestures, no less, no more. And Merry Christmas to you and your family Mike.