Michael Amity writes a satirical new voice-over for the boastful ‘Poolside’ Cadillac commercial.Â
–
Ya know, everyone gets an asshole, but not everyone IS an asshole.
So when you see me being one, know that I’m a very particular type.
And there’s only one of me. One.
In America, we’re not like the Japanese who sleep in drawers–we like big houses.
And our success isn’t determined by test scores.
Are we greedy?–meh. I’ll tell you one thing about poor people, they always lose!
Our patriarchal system is designed for one purpose: to work.
Did Steve Jobs bully himself to the top? Maybe. I never had the pleasure to meet him.
Did Zuckerberg screw his partner out of billions? Yes; that’s what lawsuits are for.
Did we bully ourselves on to the moon? Of course; and we lost good people doing it.
Vietnam, same thing.
One thing to remember about greed is: it works, and it’s good.
It’s what allows us to be the best. 😉
