Spring training is just around the corner and Michael Amity has a poem for his favorite small market team, with apologies to Lorde.
Even a division pennant would be groovy
Without a TV contract
Small market town, no triple-A prospect
But everybody’s like 5-tools, clean face, put him at First Base
Balco steroids, forget about that case
We don’t care, we’re just 90 feet from our dreams
But everybody’s like can’t run, can’t field, put him at DH
3-0 green light, lean in, free base
We don’t mind, we follow our coaches signs
And we’ll always be Royals (Royals)
Worse than Minnesota Twins
Can’t know where our luck begins
Our fans just want the wins
We could be like Boston (Boston)
When they cracked their streak
Just put your trust in me
Let me draft your fantasy.
It’s not even the GM’s fault
He counts his dollars on the train to the ball game
Knowing our lineups flawed with a slugger leading off
He’s not paid for bunting
But everybody’s like beer price rising, that’s not surprising
Whether to relocate, owners deciding
We don’t care, we’re here for free bobble heads
But everybody’s like seats are empty, announcers playing dumb
Their job depends on promoting a new stadium
That’s not it, none of us gives a shit
And we’ll never be Yankees (Yankees)
Maybe Cardinals without Pujols
As for winning, we’re not too close
But then again, who knows
We shoulda got Jeter (Jeter)
When we had the chance
We’d be doing a victory dance
Not October vacation plans.
Ooh ooh oh
We’re playing in the big leagues,
And this is my life’s dream
Ooh ooh oh
Money’s great, can’t you tell
This ain’t the NFL
And we’ll always be Royals (Royals)
Worse than Minnesota Twins
Can’t know where our luck begins
Our fans just want the wins
We could be like Boston (Boston)
When they cracked their streak
Just put your trust in me
Let me draft your fantasy.