This is famed feminist Gloria Steinem on The Colbert Report. Over at Feministing, Chloe Angyal summarized Steinem’s appearance :
She suggested that changing the way we think about masculinity is one of feminism’s great remaining challenges. After decades of feminism, she said, “we know that women can do what men and can do… But we don’t know that men can do what women can do.” And that needs to change, because “it’s really important that kids grow up knowing that men can be as loving and nurturing as women can.”
As Colbert says, yes, men can’t do what women can do. We can’t have babies! But Steinem really generalizes a bit too much here. We know that men can do what women can do—generally, that dads can care for their kids, too—just look right here. We talk about it every day on this site.
While not everyone has bought into this, and some people probably never will, men are doing things women “used to do.” It’s just that not everyone has realized that it’s actually happening—and many of those who have can’t handle it. Every day, men are, as Steinem hopes for, making sure our kids know that dad isn’t just the guy who comes home from work, watches football, and spanks you when you talk back to mom.
What do you think? Disagree with Steinem’s sentiments? Let us know in the comments.
id argue that in the west, it is men who have changed more than women(im speaking of het men and het women). according to feminists there was/is a patriarchy. the laws regarding gender equality were changed by men under this ‘patriarchy’. yet ‘patriarchy ‘didnt sue for a peace after a war of conquest by women. It was men who decided to change the laws and change more. men became more accepting of masculinity in women and as one poster gleefully said to tom matlock in a recent thread. there are no longer any men-only spheres (save gay men ones, and… Read more »
You know, you may have a point there. It is very possible that het women have contributed to the social pressure preventing men from expressing their femininity. I’m going to chew on that one for awhile. Thanks!
As a young husband and father, I applauded feminists including Steinem who encouraged us to aspire to be “as loving and nurturing as women.” Since then, we’ve gained women warriors and bosses and politicians who’ve shown they can be as tough and mean as men. What a far cry from the kinder, gentler progress I imagined!
“Masculinity” doesn’t exist. It is a social construct designed to keep men straight-jacketed into a stifling existence apart from their sexual and emotional health.
I don’t know why this was thumbed down because it’s true. Both masculinity and femininity are social constructs designed to create gender roles. Just as there is nothing inherently feminine about the color pink or inherently masculine about the color blue, there is nothing inherently feminine about being nurturing (as if to imply masculinity is the opposite), or inherently masculine about being tough (as if to imply femininity is the opposite). To classify traits as feminine or masculine and then saying, ‘oh, but you can flip-flop between the two’ is still toxic because it implies femininity is everything masculinity is… Read more »
It would be nice if we could get away from the binary system and just have everybody working toward being a well-rounded individual. I know that staying in my wheel-house and doing what is socially acceptable doesn’t teach me anything. It rewards me, but it doesn’t challenge me.
I think one of the reasons ‘masculinity’ (certainly in the West), it the broadest sense of both terms, is so difficult for Western feminists and women’s rights advocates to engage with, is that white men have not had a visible debate amongst themselves about what it might mean to embody and promote productive modern masculinities – and there isn’t enough (to my mind) criticism from men who are engaged in these debates of the dynamics which promote stale and destructive masculine identities – the game theory approaches to dating, the lack of criticism of institutional protection of sports stars who… Read more »
Chauvinism, NOT masculinity, is the problem. Gloria Steinem is from a totally different generation, and I feel that she is misjudging American men of today. Culture has a lot to do with the way men treat women. As politically incorrect as this sounds, white American males are legions ahead of most others. I am sorry to say, but Latino men and black men are still more chauvinistic on average than white guys. Being a feminist does not mean you cannot acknowledge differences between males and females. Just because I work, share chores with my husband, and manage my own finances… Read more »
no in gloria’s case i suspect masculinity is the problem. i suspect like mary daly she wants not to share it, but steal it completely from men
She suggested that changing the way we think about masculinity is one of feminism’s great remaining challenges. After decades of feminism, she said, “we know that women can do what men and can do… But we don’t know that men can do what women can do.” And that needs to change, because “it’s really important that kids grow up knowing that men can be as loving and nurturing as women can.” I have to say as a man that has tried to think of gender in different ways and has had his own interactions with feminism this comes off as… Read more »
I went to see Gloria Steinem speak in Santa Fe a couple of years ago, and my ears perked up when she made the point that it’s not enough that women do men’s work; men have to do what women traditionally do. I’ve had what I like to call an unconventional conventional marriage since 1993, where my husband stays home with the kids and otherwise devotes his time to our house and property while I work fulltime outside the house. In those years I can count on one hand the number of couples I’ve met that have similar set-ups. It’s… Read more »
That ‘societal pressure’ is better described by phrases like: “high cost of living” “job insecurity” and “moribund union movement.” Indeed, without a strong union in my industry, I wouldn’t have received the severance package that made it possible for me to be a stay-at-home-dad when my daughter arrived. Nor would her mother been able to support a family of four in the Bay Area if she were a non-union nurse. It is, of course, essential that traditional sex-roles be questioned vigorously and visibly. But, so long as movments like the feminist movment eschew class-conflict and refuse to make it front-and-center,… Read more »
I am not a big fan of Ms. Steinem, but in this case I think she is onto something. (I like to think I can look at someone’s work on an idea-by-idea basis, no matter how much I may disagree with other parts. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.) She has said many times that the assumption that women are more nurturing than men is something that holds women back at the same time that it hurts men. The idea that children are better off being raised by women than men is something that feeds many women’s… Read more »
P.S. I meant to say that only women can give birth, not to suggest that it’s something that all women do. Obviously not all women do, and a growing percentage do not.
I second your comment here. My thoughts, except for the bit about techno pregnancies. I don’t even want my mind to go there. Ah!! Pregnancy is too beautiful.
When the vast majority of men have been primary caretakers for a few more decades, at the expense of their earning power and general regard in society, I’ll disagree with Gloria.
Wow, talk about oversimplification. You’re making it sound like all women have been forced to stay home and be the primary caregivers for their children. As if they’re chained to their homes with leg irons. But you’re discounting the fact that many women choose to be the primary caregivers, while their husbands are the primary breadwinners working long hours at the expense of their time with their families. Not to mention studies such as the one this website mentioned recently that 34% of all women surveyed said they would NEVER consider being the primary breadwinner so their husbands/boyfriends could stay… Read more »
I would agree with you if women didn’t continue to choose to be the ones to give birth and be the primary caretakers.
No, Gloria, women can’t do eveything that men do. Women can’t impregnate a woman and can’t be fathers nor can men give birth or be mothers. Nature obviously planned for children to have one of each. No matter what she says that will never change.