Guys Who Don’t Wear Wedding Rings Are ‘Slime’? Yeah, Right

Like many non-Brits, I’ve (unfortunately) been a wee bit invested in the Prince William and Kate Middleton saga. And couldn’t help but notice that a few weeks ago, a palace official announced that only one wedding ring was going to be made—Kate’s.

Although I doubt that Prince William’s choice is so that he’s trying to bag himself a mistress, many people assume that men who don’t wear their wedding rings choose to do so for unsavory reasons. In a blog post in Chicago Now, writer Jenny Milk calls men who don’t wear their wedding ring “slime”:

Now, we all know who Prince William is because he’s in the public eye—so I think it would be hard for him to pull the wool over another chick’s eyes by saying he’s single, but for the rest of us common folk … WEAR YOUR RING, MAN.

In a New York magazine article called “The Naked Finger,” Amy Sohn writes of a friend who’s unknowingly had multiple affairs with married men. “All those women out there whose husbands aren’t wearing rings should be worried. It’s never an innocent choice,” said her friend.

Milk reiterates this sentiment: “Now, I’m not saying he’s being a shadester, but unless that ring is cutting off the circulation to his finger, there’s no reason not to be wearing it.”

My mom and dad have been happily married for 25+ years. And neither one wears a wedding ring.

My father believes himself to be a “man’s man” and doesn’t wear jewelry. Ever. He’s even given up wearing a watch. My mother doesn’t wear her ring because it gets in the way while she works. My friend can’t wear a ring because he’s allergic to various metals. And I’ve noticed many people don’t wear their rings at the gym. And none of these people, especially my dad, is looking around. One thing a ring—not to mention its diamond size or carat weight—doesn’t signify is love in a marriage.

Sohn says these non-ring-wearing men are confusing the hell out of single women:

They find [men who don’t wear their rings] infuriating—precisely because they sell a false bill. I have a girlfriend who often gets in conversations with men at parties, only to have them tell her half an hour later that they’re married. She hates being misled when she could have spent her time talking to someone single.

As a non-single lady who’s been bamboozled by a guy who kept his Facebook relationship status blank, all I have to say is, tough luck. So you spent half an hour talking to a nice guy. You could have done worse things in those 30 minutes—like buying a Will and Kate refrigerator.

—Photo Lel4nd