Neko Case is hot. I mean, smoldering hair, Susan Orlean’s intellect, and a voice that could melt platinum (records)—that hot. And you don’t have to take my word for it. The New Pornographers’ singer-turned-solo-act was named Sexiest Babe of Indie Rock by Playboy, and GQ listed her right alongside the likes of Katy Perry and Liz Phair.
So why is it that nobody’s hitting on her?
As the singer recently tweeted: “No, ladies in bands don’t get ANY action.” Other female musicians backed her up. “SO TRUE!” tweeted Michelle Branch. Crooked Fingers singer Miranda Brown asserted, “You are 100% correct … I have gotten laid exactly one time on tour, and it was an ex. Laaaaame.”
This isn’t a call for the universal catcalling of female musicians. But in a world where sex appeal often trades as popular currency, what is with this double standard? Male rock stars’ sexing up fangirls is trite enough to warrant a book like Sex Tips From Rock Stars (which, naturally, only features men). So why is a musician like Colette Alexander saying things like “The best gift a friend can get a (girl)friend who’s about to go on tour is a vibrator”?
There are number of possible explanations. Salon asserted that male fans could be intimidated by the implied power dynamic of approaching a woman like Case.
[T]he biggest reason for the lack of males in the groupie workforce likely stems from the power dynamic inherent in a sexual negotiation. A female fan, for all the chutzpah she may possess to throw herself in the path of R. Kelly, is chasing after a male of higher status. But the man standing outside by the stage door, despite the boldness of his move, is rarely viewed as her sexual equal.
We’ve heard that story countless times. (See: explanations for why Hillary Clinton’s a bitch or why breadwinner women are doomed to divorce.) Female rockers are powerful women and gearing up to approach any powerful woman—let alone a gorgeous celebrity with stage presence—can be tough on a guy’s masculinity. It’s the same code that directs nice guys to avoid hitting on the hot bartender because “she probably gets too much of that anyways.” It’s assumed that a woman like Neko Case wouldn’t want the guy who waits at the stage door. (Not to mention the different set of risks assumed when it’s a guy, not a girl, waiting.)
But here’s my question: why is it assumed that a female rock star wouldn’t want the sexual perks that come with the gig? Even Case herself admitted that it was a letdown, at least initially.
For female artists, it’s got to be weird doing the same job as their male counterparts and not getting the same payoff in attention. But the practical reality is that just because a woman rocks your world onstage, she’s probably not going to do it backstage as well. I’m too old to care now, but in my 20s I felt pretty robbed.
And further, why can’t male fans both respect and court their musical idol? Does a musical Madonna (not Ciccone)-whore complex come into play? I have mixed feelings about the idea of throwing one’s body at a rock star in general—but if it’s going to happen, why is it OK for fangirls to do it and not men?
Here’s Case again:
I didn’t want to be hit on by lots of men so much as I wanted to be hit on as much as men … Competitive inferior penis complex.
It’s often assumed that lady lead singers are dating someone in the band. Maybe overzealous band security has something to do with it.
But when I make it big with my one-woman xylophone-and-cymbal gig, I expect gender-equal sex perks.
So what do you think, readers? Where are all the fanboys?
Image Shadow1517/Photobucket
Haha, “the culture that demonized male sexuality”? Now, if this isn’t just the definition of “poor little privileged guy” mentality, than I don’t know what is. A) we’ve done a damn fine job of demonizing ourselves, and B) our culture has absolutely demonized (quite literally, the church historically viewed female menstruation as dirty and evil),commodified and dehumanized women and their sexuality for centuries. So, beg your pardon, but don’t be offended if I’m not shedding tears for my fellow (probably white) men, lamenting their own misfortune and hard luck in society. The second that men start to feel our privileged… Read more »
I am impressed with this website , rattling I am a fan .
I’ve found that many of my male peers objectify female musicians. They see a girl with a guitar and all meaning and message to be found in the music is lost because said female member is “hot”. I wouldn’t find a female musician intimidating, I’d just rather speak to her about her music then attempt to get in her pants. To me, it’s not the double standard that’s the problem, it’s turning artists into sex objects. When it comes to any musician, I’d rather look at the music than their sex appeal. That being said, I do understand where these… Read more »
A correction to your article, if I may: my book Sex Tips From Rock Stars does actually provide a female groupie perspective, from Allison Robertson of The Donnas. She was the only female rock star that participated, while many others declined. More about htis in this interview with me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-9WBoLRM-E
In the book she laments the fact that male fans don’t put in the effort to look hot.
Rock, Paul.
“Why don’t guys harass Neko Case?”
http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/frase/heres_a_new_complaint_female_rock_stars_dont_get/
You’re all wrong.
So many words in this article. Wasted.
It’s this simple: in this culture, male groupie = stalker and creep.
You didn’t say “flirting” or “courting” you said “hitting on.” That implies “creep”.
The culture that demonized male sexuality is now trying to invent a new complaint. Excuse my sarcasm but aww… poor rock stars.
First world problems.
Female hypergamy is your answer.
Women don’t date below them, and a fan is implicitly setting himself below his idol. Women get the hots for males displaying dominance, not the craven behavior of a boot-licking admirer.
The aloof alpha male with the higher social status (or enough game to make you feel insecure in his presence) is what will get you wet. Puppy-love, on the other hand… Think Sahara, but drier.
Well, hot, sexy, gorgeous “famous” girls are not mine after all 😉 they are using their seduction on many guys out there. That doesn’t make me special!!!
So that, I’d rather hit on the unknown hot girl next to me in the concert. I need to be seduced in that special way… The rock star seduces everyone, and even worse, she has a defined aim for it (her job, Money, …). Why should I care for her?
Fame, money and power is an aphrodisiac for women and most female rock stars won’t get turned on by a male groupie standing at the stage door. However, some like the GoGos, Grace Slick and Janis Joplin were notorious for shagging while on tour.
Neko has a good voice but she doesn’t do anything for me. That being said, I’ve always found female singers/musicians hot. Liz Phair, Sarah McLachlan, Jewel, etc very good looking. The problem may be two fold, a) Neko and her sisters of music may be looking at the wrong kind of dudes – hipsters (whatever), or fellow musicians which are neurotic. jealous & intimidated by Neko and her talented kind or b) normal guys assume she’s swarmed by dudes cooler, hipper, and richer than they are.
I’ve hit on neko case both times I’ve seen her. One time she said (from the stage) that I was her lusty spaniard coming to sweep her away. Got my hopes up, but didn’t know how to go about trying to get into her dressing room after…
I think you should be looking at the extreme superficial fan-girls as the real problem. What’s up with that?