Following on from Noah’s link to Linda Holmes’ piece about how the new American network TV season is a flood of eye-searing misandry like How to be a Gentlemen, Man Up and Last Man Standing: Quiet Riot Girl gives her take on the situation, a masterful critique of one of the sources of all this nonsense, namely Hanna Rosin’s “End of Men” article she wrote in The Atlantic then gave a speech about at TED and now plans to make into a book.
A half-dozen pilots were made by the three major networks, and they will all be released in September. Some of their names are interchangeable–Man Up!, Last Man Standing, How to Be a Gentleman. They all feature men who are unemployed or underemployed, love to play video games, and are desperately in need of a makeover. “Life is a big jerk and punches you in the face over and over again,” complains Bert Lansing, a lughead personal trainer in ABC’s How to Be a Gentleman, played by Kevin Dillon from Entourage.’
The misandry is apparent here, when Rosin says the ‘loser’ men in the TV shows are realistic:
Imagine if the tables were turned and women were suffering economic problems, and were simultaneously being portrayed on TV as ‘losers’? Would there not be an outcry? Do you hear a sound about the portrayal of men now? I don’t.
Now QRG is a controversial and provocative figure, and no, I don’t agree with everything she has to say. BUT she is committed to smashing the gender binary and taking down narrow and essentialist notions of men and women, as she says further:
Of course, men are not nearing their end, or if they are, women will go down with them. The two sexes are still, despite the battle cries of people like Rosin, interdependent. But what The End of Men seems to convey, actually in a not dissimilar way to the concept of the ‘real man’ retrosexual, is that currently men are pussies, and they need to Man Up. As Simpson said of Rosin it is a ‘femme macho’ stance.
I still plan to add my own thoughts on television’s unprovoked gender war, but this gives a great explanation to the wider issues surrounding it.
I agree with your opinion, balconyscene.
You’re still a “provider”, just not the traditional one. If you contribute to society, that’s certainly being a provider right there. You’re going your own way.
Not every “Provider” works a nine-to-five, seven days a week job.
I’ve skipped right to replying, so please forgive me if I am echoing the rest here, but…
“Underemployed?” Bah…way I see it, if you are contributing to society in any way, even a little, you’re alright.
Sure, I’ll ‘man up,’ become successful, and all that jazz, because that’s the right thing to do, not because some stuck up picky woman or some self important manly man dares to want it of me.
Conditional love isn’t love at all. I will not date a woman who would not have accepted me just as readily when I was weak, worthless, and unproductive.
(Second polite reminder: I’m genderqueer, not a woman, although I am female-assigned and was female-socialized.)
(Polite reminder: I don’t gender-identify as a woman (or a man), just a person.)
“At the heart of any article about “the end of men” is a moral panic induced by concern not for men , but things like “respectability” and economic stability. ” This gets right to the heart of it, Darque, and I think you have identified who will or will not have this panic. Women like Ozy or AB or La Lubu or Cheranadine do not see men as their iron rice bowl so none of these changes frighten them. Some may puzzle them a little, they may welcome others and they may feel some compassion when they see men suffering… Read more »
Knitting was mentioned earlier, so I’m a little late to the party. I’m a knitter and a woman, but I don’t like cupcakes. I used to play world of warcraft, my husband still does, and that’s fine with us both. I understand what he’s spending time on and can talk about it with him, and he gets to spend some time listening to my thoughts about knitting. I guess one of the things that makes knitting “more” acceptable is that, after all, it is productive. You make something and someone can use it, and that’s thrifty and useful and makes… Read more »
@Levi, loved the comment. It echoes what radical feminist Ellen Willis wrote back in the 70s, recommend her work to you. She also believed patriarchy would be undone by capitalism, which she regarded as a paradox feminists needed to deal with (and um, we haven’t). @debaser71: “the whole patriarchy thing (if you look at family, which IMO is what it’s all about, women have generally played the lead role)” Funniest thing I ever read. Just for the record: “Bitch, get me my beer!” is not the lead role. @Ferris: Don Draper is also Gatsby, the quintessential American character who re-invents… Read more »
At the heart of any article about “the end of men” is a moral panic induced by concern not for men , but things like “respectability” and economic stability. The sooner the people writing these articles think of men as human beings and not ATMs – the better off we’ll all be.
@Ferris
Isn’t it ironic in the article you linked, the author says that men are all babies, and are feminized, and “act like women”. Saying that “women are like babies” by deduction, no? Isn’t that insulting both men and women at once?
And apparently, caring about your image is a sign you’re not a man, but a baby. Real men bath in motor oil don’t you know.
I stumbled across this article today: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2046284/Ashton-Kutcher-news-late-So-todays-soppy-men-act-like-toddlers-need-mollycoddled.html A truly bad article even by the standards of the “man up” genre. What I’ve noticed is that in the majority of these pieces, the author is very clearly immature herself, and I’ve come to see these critiques as a massive projection. Either because her own immaturity leads her to run in the social circles of immature men on whom she bases the article, or she merely projects the most simplistic of motivations and tropes onto the men she sees, because that’s all she’s capable of. I think the “Don Draper” idolization, which… Read more »
Ah yes, Julian Real. The one who says I was racist and anti-lesbian, because I was against segregating myself out of women’s space voluntarily, lest I offend ‘real’ women by my very presence.
Mods, he didn’t mean any disrespect by fouling this place with that name.
Was that male feminist Julian Real? (and I hesitate to ask lest I summon him by invoking his name) because that sounds like something he’d say.
I knew someone would object to ‘seminal’ I am going to use it even more now!
*: I recall a feminist man’s blog entry saying that using the word “seminal” in the context of a work of great influence, especially in terms of milestones in feminist thought (e.g. “Dworkin’s seminal work…”), amounted to a facial cumshot. Leaving aside the implication that cum is degrading, if anything the word “semen” should lose the rights to be the word for “ejaculate ([i]n[/i].)”, as the association of “seed” with cum arises from the implication that women are dirt in which seeds get planted.” Levi, this is full of fail, but it doesn’t look like any of it is your… Read more »
Hi all I have written some more about misandry, this time in the UK press, here:
http://quietgirlriot.wordpress.com/2011/10/06/strictly-misandry/
There are a few ideas that I can’t get past. 1) The worth, value, and quality of my life has little to do with how much money I make. So what does it really mean that women are getting higher paying jobs? 2) the whole patriarchy thing (if you look at family, which IMO is what it’s all about, women have generally played the lead role) 3) I think most people (everyday normal folk) don’t see gender issues all that much…that they sort of just accept the status quo. Not many people are talking about ‘the end of men’ so… Read more »
@ Darque and @Solo,
I would say that the Feministe piece is basically talking less about men and boys as it is mature and immature partners. It’s just that the author of the OP is hetero. You could definitely substitute women and girls into the OP and it works, there wasn’t anything there that I thought was gendered. SO no matter what you think about the woman’s dating choices, she wasn’t being misandric or condescending, she was making a point about maturity and the type of partner you seek at different stages of your life.
“There’s good evidence that men and women are both needed to raise children, though in different ways.”
What does that mean for same-sex couples? D:
Levi Ramsey:
If you would kindly define what you mean by “patriarchy” perhaps we could chat.
There’s good evidence that men and women are both needed to raise children, though in different ways. So fatherhood would appear to be an option.
@Darque
I’d say they want to find a younger version of their daddies. That and men with rooms full of stuff, or on their way to get stuff while they get to be a mess and pursue their childhood dreams. Sucks that she had to belittle as a man child anyone that isn’t their dream ‘classic’ gentleman when they themselves aren’t ‘classic’ ladies.
Hey just curious. What do y’all think of the blog post “Straight from the heart” on feministe?
We’re witnessing the end of patriarchy (and it arguably is/was relatively free market capitalism that, when set free, is destroying/destroyed patriarchy… there may or may not be some irony there). It’s not every generation that gets to say that they saw a social order that’s more or less dominated human society for the past few millennia collapse. It’s an interesting question that’s asked by both QRG and Rosin (and by this site, for that matter): what is the role in society (if any) for men (however defined) post-patriarchy? It’s presumably not being the primary breadwinner in families, which was basically… Read more »
Gah, I can never keep straight which site uses which tags. Apologies all.
@Hugh Tipping – Yes, mountain biking does get respect. So do rock climbing, skydiving, contact sports and any hobby that puts you in danger of serious injury. If you say you do any of those things at a party, people will think that’s awesome and want to hear more about your adventures. Nobody wants to hear about the time you got a warlock to level cap in three days. Toward the top of the thread Mark Z. said this: [em]Because video games tend to provide fun with very little downside, and there’s a kind of macho attitude that’s suspicious of… Read more »