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In the praised animation “Inside Out”, released by Disney in 2015, the audience comes into contact with the different emotions of the protagonist Riley, an 11-year-old girl who, when changing cities – and, consequently, schools and home – experiences frustrations arising from her new adaptation process. Beyond fiction, starting the journey in a new environment, in a child’s view, can be an unnatural experience, and even cause suffering.
In any case, it is important not to generalize in this sense, and to understand that the reactions of the little one will vary according to the context, age, and understanding of the scale of change.
“A 4-year-old is totally different from a 10-year-old. When we consider younger children, social life and their habits are totally linked to activities linked to their parental group, since they have little autonomy and mobility and, therefore, the change of address does not necessarily cause the loss of friends or habits,” says a spokesperson at Multitra.
The understanding of the process of moving house begins to become clearer to children around the age of seven. In this period, the little one tends to be emotionally more mature to understand that, despite the changes, his place in the family is already established: he has already acquired a certain degree of self-confidence and does not need to follow a rigid rhythm to feel safe.
However, if the child has a negative reaction to the change of address, parents and guardians must be ready to provide their children with the confidence and security necessary to deal with the changes that are part of life. The good news is that this can be easily resolved through dialogue and mutual understanding.
Allow the little one to opine on the transition
Experts agree that to prevent moving house from becoming a problem, it is always important that parents and guardians involve their children from the beginning in the decision to move. For example, if there is a possibility, it is essential that when the house exchange occurs simultaneously with the school, the child has a certain degree of autonomy to give an opinion on where he will study.
It is not necessary for the child to participate in the entire process of choosing the new school, but once the parents have defined two main possibilities, it may be interesting for them to choose the one they like best.
Taking objects from the old house to the new one, with the intention of making the child feel more comfortable, also works, as well as talking about the new routine. Try to show positive aspects of the new neighborhood (or city), explain why the decision to move was made, in addition to opening space for dialogue about possible fears, as the little one imagines how the new school will be, and answering as many of the child’s doubts as possible.
But it is worth remembering that, except in very special cases (such as changing countries and languages), changes are part of life and the child must be prepared for it, with the help of the parents and in a way that makes them feel loved and, mainly, safe.
Here are important points in children’s adaptation to the new school.
1. Parents and teachers
It is important that they form a bond. This will make parents more relaxed. And it will make the child feel that support at school. This bond is urgent, so that the child realizes that there is a person in the classroom who will support them in everything they need.
2. New friendships
Another important point is to help the child to establish new friendships and new bonds. And here, again, parents and teachers play a key role. It is necessary to encourage, and talk about how important it is for the child to reach out to new children, and ask them to participate in the games.
And at the time that this bond is starting to happen, when the child comes home saying the name of a little friend, saying that he liked to play with him, it is time for us to start investing in an invitation for this child to come home, for example. Meet the little friend’s family, seek a date outside of school.
You don’t have to invite all the kids from school to your house. But you can focus on those two or three that your child talks about the most.
3. Parents of peers
The third point that can be of great help to children who are adjusting comes from other families. Parents of children who are already in school can also help. It is enough for them to encourage their children to welcome the child who is arriving.
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