—
Teaching your children the ropes of life is a tough job, especially when they are teenagers. It’s your job to guide them through their budding years and help them grow into responsible adults.
This can be a challenging task given the hormonal mood swings and rebellious behavior of this age group. So how do you go about parenting your teen? Here are some tips that will help:
Practice Good Listening
Listening is a skill that requires practice. It’s not about you, but rather your teen. So be quiet and try to hear what they’re saying. Don’t interrupt or judge them, because if you do that then they will feel like they can’t talk to you about anything else in the future. Don’t try to fix anything either, because chances are you don’t want them going around solving all your problems for the rest of your life either.
Drop the Dictatorship
Let your teenager make their own decisions. While this may seem like an obvious tip, it’s a good idea to get in the habit of giving your child choices wherever possible. Don’t let them choose between setting their alarm or going to school on time—if you’ve got a kid who likes sleeping in and hates getting up early, that can be disastrous.
This doesn’t mean dropping all your rules, but teens are establishing their identities. An authoritarian approach with teenagers usually blows up in your face. Even when you’re setting boundaries with them, try leaving room for negotiation and come to rules that you both agree on. You never know, they may have some really good ideas and reasons to choose a slightly different direction.
Praise is just as or even more important than correction
Praising your child is just as or even more important than correcting them. Praise is a powerful tool that can be used to encourage good behavior, motivate a child to continue good behavior, and encourage a child to try something new.
One of the best ways to encourage your child to make good choices and resist peer pressure is to make sure they have healthy confidence. Praising is a two-parent job, Dad your daughter needs praise from you too!
Let your children choose quality time
Quality time is a term that means “time spent together”. The amount of quality time you spend with your child may vary from one day to another. While the chats in the car on the way home from school are nice and show an interest in what they like to do. Let your teen take the lead, even if it’s watching their favorite show on TV.
Pick Your Battles: Depression is tough
When working with a teenager, sometimes you really need to choose what’s important enough to make a big deal out of and what isn’t. Focusing too much on the little stuff, in the end, will only add to your problems.
If their behavior changes significantly, there’s room for concern. Teenage depression and drug use are at an all-time high and will show signs in their life outside of academic performance. Normal is subjective to your teen and you will be the one to notice abnormal behavior. If you’ve noticed abnormal behavior, head over to basepointacademy.com and get your teen the help they need.
Be an ally, even if you don’t understand
Never minimize or dismiss their feelings, even if they don’t make sense to you. Offer support and comfort and never follow this support and comfort with any type of criticism.
Model the Behavior You Desire
If you want your teenager to be an active listener and communicator, then you should be one yourself. Be a good role model for the behavior you desire, whether being a good decision-maker, problem solver, or leader.
All the advice in the world does you no good if your actions are the opposite of the words coming out of your mouth. Model healthy relationships and healthy habits.
Your choice of words models their future
The words you choose to use with your child can either build up or tear down. It is important to choose positive, encouraging words; negative and destructive language will only cause pain, resentment, and anger in your teenager. And it’s not only how you speak to them, but how you speak to others around them as well.
How you talk to and interact with people are the actions and characteristics your children will be drawn to as adults. It’s comfortable because it’s familiar.
Tough Topics need gentle conversations
When it comes to your teenage child, there are many tough topics you will inevitably have to discuss. These include sex, drugs, and alcohol.
The first step is being honest with your child about what’s going on in their life. You can’t expect them to be honest with you if they’re not sure that you’re going to be open and accepting of what they have to say.
As a dad, it’s really tempting to simply lay down the law. Let your teen take the lead in these conversations and ask questions. This is far more effective and develops long-term communication skills. Letting them lead the conversation leads to the feeling that they can talk to you whenever they need to.
Actions speak louder than words
As a father, you have an opportunity to model the behaviors you would like your teenager to emulate. The best way for them to learn about life is by example. By demonstrating what it means to be a responsible adult, they will not only be able to see how their actions affect other people and themselves but also understand why certain things are more important than others.
Conclusion
The most important thing is that you feel comfortable and confident in the way you’re parenting your teenager and that they feel loved and supported.
If you’re worried about how they are doing socially or academically, then talk to them about it. Don’t just assume everything is okay because it doesn’t look like a problem—you don’t know what they’re hiding!
—
This content is brought to you by Base Point Academy.
Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash