Tomorrow, I Will Fight Off a Gorilla

As an adult male who can’t whistle or snap his fingers—let alone change his oil or carve a turkey—I eagerly awaited the arrival of my Show Me Now app. The three minutes it took to download were the longest thee minutes of my life. Well, not really, but I was interested to see what it had to offer. The interface and design is sleek and simple, which is all I think anyone wants from an app. The pictures, symbols, colors, and everything else are clear and look great. Navigation through the various screens was easy enough, too.

Basically, Show Me Now teaches you how to do just about anything. Yes, a lot of it was completely ridiculous and no, I will never need to learn how to “dread my do,” “walk like a diva in heels,” or “befriend a scared kitty.” I already teach classes on the first two, and I hate cats, so that’s that. But seriously, the absurd how-tos made me laugh. And that’s always welcome, isn’t it?

As far as the more practical how-tos go, I decided to try to “eat snake meat,” but then realized I was allergic right before I started to peel the skin (step three). So, instead, I tried to dance the Charleston. Along with the Swedish hambo, the Charleston is the only dance move I’ve yet to master. First step: step back on to your right foot. Next: kick left leg to the side. Then: step forward onto your left foot. And finish: kick your right leg to side. So I stepped back on my right, kicked my left leg out and stepped forward, and kicked out my left. Just like that, I was ready to be an extra in Boardwalk Empire—and to finally conquer the dreaded hambo.

All in all, I enjoyed Show Me Now. All the how-tos are very simple, basic guidelines, and a lot of them are completely absurd. But, all in all, it’s a fun app to use that really does have some useful knowledge. Seriously, where else can you learn how to fight off a gorilla and deliver a baby in a taxi within a matter of minutes?

—Photo jessielynn0812/Flickr