“I mean, some cars tires turn faster than others…”
Tuesday night my Muse texted me with a link to a YouTube video and implored me to watch it because, “The dumb bitch really had me laughing.” Having nothing better to do at the moment, I clicked on the link and proceeded to be surprised at just how stupid graduates of the American high school system can be.
Why was I surprised? Not by the fact that the guy (Travis) was filming himself with his phone as he was driving (as we would soon find out) 80 MPH across Idaho. The first thing Travis said was “I just proposed a math question to my beautiful wife Chelsea.” That didn’t surprise me either. (Yo Einstein, you “presented” her with a math question, not “proposed” one to her) The question was, “How long does it take to drive 80 miles if you’re driving 80 MPH.”
When did the surprise happen? It happened right after he flipped the phone over to show his blond wife, Chelsea. Chelsea quickly stared the math off by discussing how fast she can run a mile when she’s in shape and when she’s out. It only gets more confusing after that because she starts talking about cutting things in half before yammering about God knows what. The good news is that is I feel WAY better about myself after watching the video. I really do.
I think the only video funnier than this would be to video Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory) as he’s watching this video. He would be in a straight jacket by the end of the first minute. Guaranteed.
Also, Chelsea might not understand sarcasm but I guarantee that pretty much everyone else in America does. The driver might want to remember that when Chelsea throws him out (if she hasn’t already) and he needs to find another woman. I’m hoping that Chelsea was having a bad day and that she’s really not that mathematically challenged, but I’m not overly optimistic.
I swear to God that any time a kid wants to drop out of school, they should be shown this video. I’m not even sure where to begin, so I’m going to let you watch this and leave me your comments. Please leave me your comments. I really want to read them.
P.S. In case anyone wants to argue that “propose” is correct, I leave you with this:
–pos·ing. verb (used with object)