Many times we don’t bother to try to change others, choosing not to be bothered by their ridiculous views or sarcastic approach and instead ignoring their behavior, this avoiding uncomfortable conversations.
But what about those closest to us? We might give to get them to change in the name of inspiring or motivating, but the fact is that we are trying to fix them. And that’s impossible. An effort to change someone is living in fallacy. So better it is, to either change your mind or change yourself.
Here Are 10 Reasons Why You Should Stop Trying To Change Someone
(1) Differences In Outlook:
Yes, they see themselves differently and we look at them in a different way. You might be a good mind reader, you might know someone very well but you can never exactly know what is on their mind. How they see themselves, what they consider of themselves. Might be you are trying to change something which even doesn’t exist.
(2) Trying to Change Others is Being Selfish:
Honestly I say, you are trying to change a person as per your requirement to fulfill your needs. And that’s selfish! Some changes might be good for them, but the fact can’t be changed that you are doing it in an effort to make yourself happier.
We even can’t change certain traits in our kids if we haven’t instilled in them those qualities at a tender age. Then how can you desire to change a grown up?
(3) You Can’t Rule Someone Else’ Life:
Some eople try to be decision makers and rule others life. Instead, why don’t you change your perspective? Would you like to be changed? If NO, then how can you expect the same from your someone? It’s wise if you don’t bother about things or avoid that someone.
(4) Reversion Will be Painful
Suppose you were successful in changing that someone, but how long can a crow wear a peacock’s feather? Even if that person does, it is painful on his or her part because they are living a regressed life or unwanted version of themselves. And if he or she changes back then what?
(4) It’s Frustrating
You invest all your energy and time to change someone, it has been working well but then even you know that the person is living a different self and not the original whom you had fall for. So are you not fooling yourself? The feeling would live you frustrated, though you might sport a pretty smile in your social circle and strike the best photo in your social media profile.
(5) Treat Others the Way You Want to be Treated.
When you don’t want others to force changes on you, is it fair for you to do that on them? Many people have an elitist attitude when it comes to their own philosophies. It’s not their wisdom but their ego is working.
(6) Focus Your Positive Energies on Changing Yourself
If you change yourself for better, circumstances would change as a consequence. Do self-contemplation and churn your inner self to find your shortfalls. Correct them and be the reason of motivation but not try to manipulate personalities. Channel your energy in self-improvement instead of forcing changes on others. Often it is heard “Accept me as I am” which eventually means that you should accept the other person as he/ she is .
(7) Here Impossible Will Never Say “I’m Possible”
Because the entire thing is surrounding another person and not to the “I” factor. People will change only if they want to and that would definitely take time or can never happen. No matter how much you yell or scream, punish your kids, withhold your love or set ultimate rules, changing the mind is impossible. Even parents need to instill changes in themselves to see the reflection in their kids.
(8) You Become Manipulative.
Suppose your ex-had a certain dressing taste and you want to see your present getting decked up in your ex’s shoes. Boy, you are running after a mirage! And if that girl realizes that you are trying to see someone else in her, that will be very hurtful. The same is applicable if a girl does the same with her current relationship.
Logic says the way you treat me, Ill treat you the same. So work on your logic instead of sculpting a new face on a well-sculpted idol. Stop manipulating others thoughts and feelings.
(9) Everybody Has Their Own Way of Life
Nobody is born to be somebody’s puppet. Are you? That’s one reason why you should not try imposing changes on others. You live your choice, let them live theirs.
(10) Once Changeable Becomes Anytime Changeable
If he/she can change for the better …. he/she can change for the worse. If someone is forced to change or inspired to change, always remember that someone is capable of changing every time. And you don’t know how the other changes will affect you.
The Takeaway
Why do you spend your energy, time and effort in changing others? Your mind is in your control so focus on self-improvement. Bring the good changes in yourself and see with that attitude how you attract the right person with whom your mind will connect and so your spontaneity. Often that happens but owing to some social reasons we quit that true love of our life and go searching those personality traits in others or try bringing changes in them. If you truly love someone then you have already fallen for the person then why change the personality?
Just contemplate and let me know your opinions in the comment section below. I am really looking forward to discuss this topic with you all. And if someone is in a pursuit to change you, share this post with him or her.
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Photo: Getty Images
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