No one writes romantic letters anymore, and that makes me sad. Everyone texts, tweets, and does all those digital things that are just too impersonal and robotic if you ask what I think. Not so long ago I talked to my son about his crush, asking how he made his moves. He said that he had texted her something like “You’re cool, wanna go have some pizza?”. Well, that is probably fine, as all generations have had different ways of expressing affection and love, but I don’t want to believe that love letters on actual paper are gone.
I can prove that point with my own example. I’m 35 years old now, and I have been married for 16 years. We have two great teens who are now old enough to have their events to attend and business to do (my son plays baseball, and my daughter is a violinist). Since last year, they’ve been out more often, which let me spend more time with my wife. Our relationships naturally weren’t as high as they had been before, so I decided to do something special.
Being married for 15 years, I knew what presents made women more excited than ever. Those should be gifts, which say “I know you well, and I’ve to spend a lot of time making this for you.” I decided to write a letter. A real letter with paper, pen, and envelope. I do not remember when I got this idea but thank God, I did, as it changed a lot in our marriage life. My first letter made my wife cry. Yes, I’m quite proud of that. I managed to put all my love and gratitude into that letter, saying what I love her for and how incredibly lucky I am to share a life with her.
Since then, I’ve been writing letters from time to time, and I love it! I’m not much of a talker, and this way is much easier for me. After a year of writing love letters, I think I can explain why everyone should do it, too. So, here are some of the advantages, as for me.
- It is personal
Well, I believe it is the most personal way to tell about your feelings (apart from actually talking face to face, of course). Getting a piece of paper with your handwriting and knowing that you probably had to rewrite the whole thing a couple of times is very precious.
- You can write beautiful words that you find hard saying
Love letters are a way to tell your partner all that you feel in a kind manner. Most men (including me) find it tough to say what they feel and to find the right words. With letters, you are more flexible. You have the time to think, and even if you suffer from writer’s block, it is still easier to spend some time and to come up with something beautiful than to tell something awkward and unromantic to your woman.
- You can keep the letters
Of course, you can save emails and text messages, too, but I believe that it is more valuable and precious if you can touch and hold it, put it into the box to other letters and take it out from time to time to read.
- It makes the relationships stronger
After my wife had read my first love letter, we had a very special evening. She told me the stories of her grandparents who sent letters to each other when her grandpa was at war. She said that her grandma once showed her these letters telling her that they were the most precious possessions that she had. It was an extraordinary evening of telling secrets and sharing feelings. I believe that the letter started the new chapter of our relationships.
- It’s insanely romantic
I bet that if you go around and ask all the women you know no matter what age they are whether they would like to receive a real hand-written love letter, all of them would say yes. Love letters are the archetype of the true romance, and I don’t think it is going to change anytime soon.
When it comes to the point of how to write a love letter, I believe it is too personal to write or read any instructions (although there are some great ones like this). My love letters actually differ from each other greatly. Last week, I wrote a poem for the first time. I think it is a bit lousy, but my wife loved it anyway. If you need some inspiration, you can read some great love letters of all times. The only tip here would be to write from your heart and not to be afraid to seem not manly enough telling about your feelings.
For me, it is easier to express my thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper than to say it out loud. I know it may be wrong, but that’s just how we, introverts, are. One thing I know for sure – my wife enjoys my letters and they actually made us much close. So, I highly recommend all the men, who happen to read this, to try and write at least one letter to your partner. I can guarantee you that the effect will be nothing but positive.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
Leave them for my wife all the time.
She leaves them for me too, “pick up milk”, “Dog has a vet appointment today at 4pm”.
Kidding. She does not really leave any, but I don’t need them, she does.
They make her day, and that my friends is what real romance is. Opening doors, pulling chairs? A doorman or waiter can do that. Romance is touching her soul.
Totally agree. This extends to handwriting all kinds of things. Recently, I sent a gift to a friend, and I knew it was something special she’d like because of a beautiful one-sentence description she wrote (on a social media post) a couple years ago. In the note I sent with it, I hand-copied what she wrote, in quotes, with attribution like it was a famous quote. Generally, I hand write a lot of things. I often make a point of sending or giving cards that have no printed text inside, and writing, sometimes multiple paragraphs instead. It helps to type… Read more »
Hear, hear! Agreed, so romantic and such a treasure you can hold in your hands years later.
Lovely article. And I agree that handwritten love notes are romantic holds more value. Thanks for writing and sharing this 🙂