If you haven’t seen the animated series, “BoJack Horseman,” you should. I won’t get into how great it is because that would only spoil it. But there’s this character named Diane Nguyen I can’t help but wish were real. She’s reminiscent of Daria, who originally appeared on the iconic show “Beavis and Butthead” as a nerdy cynic serving as the foil to the titular idiots. I liked her because she was one of the few female television characters at the time who couldn’t care less whether she was attractive to boys. In other words, her identity and self-esteem did not come from the male gaze.
Diane, while similar to Daria in persona, is attractive to male characters in the show. She’s also attractive to me. I must say: I love Diane. I would happily marry a woman like Diane.
I would marry Diane not in spite of her stubborn independence but because of it. She maintains her independence even after marrying a character who has diametrically opposed priorities and does almost nothing to change them for her benefit. She is even willing to undermine him in favor of her principles. Despite the increasing social and economic power of women in Western society, it is still hard to encounter a truly independent woman who can play—or even attempt to play—the role of partner to a man she has little control of and who has little control of her.
I do not say this lightly. We live in an age where long work hours, easy access to drugs and alcohol, and hand-held devices distract us from relationships—along with the self-reflection and personal growth that foster them. I have been on enough dating apps to know how elusive basic skills like communication have become to not only Millennials but also Gen Xers. It’s as if every single person is looking for a savior or a quick fix (in the form of sex, indulgence, or validation): it’s rare to find singles willing to roll up their sleeves and put the effort in—with no guarantee of instant satisfaction. This is also why I hang onto the amazing friends I have for dear life because even friendship is hard to come by in the information age. Even friendship has become a transaction.
Nonetheless, Netflix, in all its technical splendor, has provided me with a character who speaks directly to me as a semi-lonely man in search of something more than a “like” or a “poke.” Diane is neither a savior nor a one-night stand. She’s a person with her own ideas, aspirations, and (beautiful) idiosyncrasies. If only I could find someone like her in real life.
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Lady Number 7: The Perfect First Kiss
Lady Number 8: Why a Straight Guy Needs a Female Friend
Lady Number 9: To Lady Love, the Valentine Who Never Was
Lady Number 10: The One Who Got Away—and Tried to Do Me Over
Lady Number 11: A Very Close Flight Connection
Lady Number 12: Damsel in Distress
Lady Number 15: Xena Warrior Princess
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