From a young age as a man, I was confused with possessing things: having the nice car; having a lovely place for my bride to live; having access to the best schools for my children; having the latest and best toys. All of these things are nice, but not necessary.
Money is required to buy these lovely things, and as the male hunter instinct games momentum, the drive to earn more money to buy things kicks in.
However, the question needs to be asked, “Do these things buy happiness? Do they buy fulfillment? Is this where a man gains his identity?”
Having been poor and rich, I would argue that a man does not find happiness or fulfillment in owning and possessing things. Further I would argue that identity should not be found in the hunt for money to possess such things.
As I enter my middle years, the revelation that relationships are much more valuable than possessions dawned on me.
As a man invests in real and deep relationships, his world becomes more secure. His network of people he can rely on and trust in difficult situations are developed.
A legacy is built of people, including his children, that he has impacted. The legacy left in people, whether positive or negative, lasts more than a lifetime. A negative impact of a child, through neglect, lack of affection or relationship, even if supplemented with expensive toys, will carry on to the next generation.
Similarly, a positive impact, through strong healthy relationships, will have a positive impact on future generations.
The leading reason cited in divorce is that “we just grew apart”. A reason couples grow apart, is that lack of investment in the relationship. The lack of spending the time and effort into continually growing the marriage.
Men need to consider, what’s important to them. Is it the creation of a wealth of possessions, or is it the wealth that is found in positive healthy relationships?
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