Megan Rosker wonders: Is it possible that deep down we believe a promiscuous person is going to cheat on us?
It is commonly understood that men and women are judged differently when it comes to promiscuity. But when it comes down to it, are they? A previous post asked the question Are Women Who Have Had Five or More Partners Promiscuous?, after a survey concluded that was the number. If this survey were flipped around and women were asked the same question, what would their answer be? Would they want to be with a man that had slept with fifty or seventy women? Or would they also feel more comfortable with a man that had only a few partners?
I believe it likely that women would want to be with a less promiscuous man as well. Why? Because deep down we fear that a promiscuous person is going to “cheat” on us. True or not, a person who “sleeps around” is not considered trustworthy, and why would any of us want to be in a marriage or committed relationship with someone who we felt was not trustworthy?
Interestingly enough, just before reading this article, I read this Sex Journal on the Huffington Post. This is a complete deviation from the portrayal of women as numbers and statistics. The woman here has completely exposed her sexual life, fantasies and fears. It demonstrates my belief that the average woman has a very rich sexual existence and that it is our own lack of acceptance around this that allows women to get upset about a silly survey like this one. The survey has very little relevance to how women actually behave or live.
If women are getting upset and defensive regarding a survey like this, then we have to ask ourselves, why? If it has no relevance to our lives why should we care? If we are getting defensive, then secretly we fear these men are right. We are too promiscuous. Holding this secret, letting our anger defend it, only gives more fuel to this lie and feeds the hypocrisy of sexual stereotypes.
If we truly want to be free of this, then women must ignore surveys such as these and concentrate on expressing and owning their personal sexual desires, allowing their sexual life to reach full maturation without judgment.
photo: sideshowbarker / flickr