I’ve heard horrible stories too often. Anyone who is listening will hear our culture tacitly allowing men to believe we are entitled to do, have, say, touch, demand whatever we please without consequence.
I have spent my whole life in an attempt to raise the expectation of men because I believe we can do better.
From Brock Turner to Harvey Weinstein to Clarence Thomas to Donald Trump to Bill Clinton all the way back to our primordial caves… we decent men have shaken our heads behind closed doors and publicly excused the behavior of violent men.
When we didn’t stand up, we knew we were weak. When we did, we knew there was danger. Many of us have been hurt and gaslighted by these predators too. Since the locker rooms and the playgrounds, they’ve patterned us into corners. They obfuscate their intentions so we waffle on ours.
We’re not perfect either. Many of us have been confused by situations and intentions that seem opaque. But within us we always knew. Intuition told us something was wrong with a world so full of predators. We may have hurt people from ignorance, but we can learn and be better and stand for something. These predators are a different breed, but they are part of us.
We, good men, want to say “it wasn’t me” but we know “it was us.”
They isolate us with ridicule, threats, and broken logic so we don’t see the strength in our numbers. The truth is: good men outnumber the others.
Every “me too” shows the indomitable courage of survivors. I aspire to be that brave in the face of fear and sadness. Every “me too” shows us how to participate in a better society. Stand up. Be heard.
We don’t need heroes, we need to hear a chorus of voices saying “the onus is on us.”
To every “Me Too” who has ever entrusted me with that deep vulnerability… “I hear you. I weep. I promise to do my part to heal and prevent. The onus is on us.”
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