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Your kids may have been introduced to the tech age practically from birth. If you were like most parents, you took tons of pics of them to text to your family and friends. Fair enough. But just because they’re the first digitally native generation, per Pew, doesn’t mean they’re ready for full-scale tech responsibilities.
Here’s the issue: Technology is both a wonderland and a danger. Before they’re fully matured (and sometimes even after,) children don’t always know which digital choices to make. Should they lie to get on social media, which half of kids admit they’ve done according to CNBC reports? Should they try to bypass parental controls? Should they tell their parents when they see something uncomfortable while at a friend’s house or on a teammate’s phone?
These are big questions. They’re also part of the landscape for young people. As a parent, your job isn’t just to protect them from the obvious stuff like online predators and bullies. It’s to help them ease into technology in a way that feels comfortable and safe.
Below are four ways you can deliver a sensible, restrained digital lifestyle to your children.
1. Put limits on screen time.
As an adult, you’ve experienced the phenomenon of “losing” time to a screen. One minute you’re on YouTube and before you know it, an hour has passed. The only way to make sure that your kids don’t lock eyes with screens for hours on end is with limitations.
Brad Anderson talks about screen time in a piece reviewing Gabb Wireless, a leading company of kid-friendly smartphones. A self-professed techie, he advocates putting boundaries on screens. For instance, he recommends nixing screens during dinner and making screens after 8:00 p.m. disappear. However, he’s okay with kids owning phones like Gabb’s models. Why? They have zero access to the Internet, social media, and the app store. This makes them less likely to become a kid’s best screened friend.
Be prepared for a little pushback, especially if your child is already overdoing the screen time thing. Remember that it’s for the best because too much of anything—including screens—is a recipe for problems.
2. Back off on your own tech use.
Your kid is watching every move you make, particularly when you least expect it. Children have a habit of mimicking the adults around them. Therefore, if you resist the urge to give in to your technological devices, your child will, too.
This isn’t to say that you have to stop working from home or making work-related phone calls. On the other hand, if you’re aimlessly scrolling on your tablet or phone, you’re not sending the right message. On the contrary, you’re implicitly showing your youngster what normal behavior looks like.
You may not like the “tough love” approach, but it’s time to turn it inward. For the next month, try to rely on tech less than before. Whenever possible, go for a non-digital solution. An example might be sending a physical birthday card ahead of time to a relative. Get your child in on the act, too. Sure, you can still text the relative later, but don’t use tech as a substitute for thoughtfulness.
3. Talk a lot about the upsides and downsides of tech.
Never assume that your child understands the broader scope of the pitfalls of social media or tech use in general. It’s up to you to set the standards in your household, after all. And that means you’ll probably have to start some conversations about technology use.
Consider beginning with a discussion on social media when your child is in elementary school or middle school. If you use social media yourself, you might explain what it is. Resist talking about it in glowing terms, though. Instead, give your child a good perspective on its pros and cons, as well as what you like and don’t like.
Having conversations about technology demystifies it. Plus, your kids will feel less worried about coming to you with questions down the road. Try not to demonize everything about the Internet, especially if you use it frequently. Just offer a balanced viewpoint that allows your child to see that technology has its place but is a tool, not a toy.
4. Establish tech-free zones.
Two years ago, Variety reported that most homes had no fewer than 11 wired devices. Many experts feel that number has skyrocketed. Think about your own house. Is technology lurking in nearly every corner?
It can be hard to untether from tech. Nevertheless, do your best to carve out at least a few tech-free zones. No Bluetooth. No wireless personal assistants. No streaming TVs. These could be your child’s bedroom, a den playroom, or even an enclosed sunroom. Ask everyone to leave devices out of these areas, including smartphones. Then, populate the spaces with non-tech entertainment and fun stuff.
What types of items belong in your tech-free zones? Musical instruments, reading material, arts and crafts, building blocks, and board games come to mind. Don’t be surprised if these spots become havens to everyone, including the adults in your family! It’s nice to wind down without being barraged by a litany of texts after a hard day at school or work.
From reducing screen time to talking about the digital world, you can have a positive impact on the way your kids feel about tech. Even if they act like they don’t appreciate having parameters now, they’ll benefit from your diligence in the future.
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