Josh Bowman lays down some reasons he never called…
Kind of like that book “He’s Just Not Into You“, only in a less articulate way. And for free. Also, this blog post will never be made into a movie starring the dreamy Ben Affleck (though a guy can hope…).
- I got busy and didn’t call. Then I didn’t hear from you, and figured that you probably weren’t into it. Then more time passed. Then it just seemed too weird to call. Meanwhile, you didn’t call because you figured it was my job to call.
- I did call. I just hung up cause I got nervous and psyched myself out about it.
- The date was fine, we got along, we had a decent conversation…but there was no real spark. But, you know…like…no hard feelings or whatever.
- I chickened out and sent an email, but I got a bounce-back a few days later. By then, it was too late. And I’m a chicken.
- I’m tired of calling, so I said “this time, I’m leaving it up to the lady!” And you didn’t call.
- I tried to call, I really did…but then just as I was dialing I got abducted by aliens, and taken to Gortharb, their hideous home planet. I was forced to fight for my life in the dreaded Gunthi pits. I survived, narrowly, and was granted my freedom, along with a one-person space pod and enough Jiimb to last for eight Gortharb weeks (one human year, approximately). I navigated back to earth, landing just as I had eaten my last narb of Jiimb. Though I survived, my phone was wiped of everybody’s numbers, including yours.
- I texted the night of the date with a nice message and a smiley face. When you didn’t text back, I figured you didn’t have a good time, and said “forget it” and moved on.
- I was actually dating somebody else at the same time, but it was in the early stages of the relationship and I wanted to test the waters. You seem great, but I like the other person better (cut to: she breaks up with me later to date somebody else. Boo hoo karma!).
- I got super sick and felt gross OR I got super depressed and felt sad OR I got super busy OR I skipped town.
- I’m picky, and decided there was something about you that could never work. Better to just rip off the band-aid now, right? (this has traditionally been my rationale for breaking off relationships early too).