Josh Bowman lays down some reasons he never called…
Kind of like that book “He’s Just Not Into You“, only in a less articulate way. And for free. Also, this blog post will never be made into a movie starring the dreamy Ben Affleck (though a guy can hope…).
It has been a little while, but this very funny article on idatedthatdouche inspired me to create a list. Enjoy.
- I got busy and didn’t call. Then I didn’t hear from you, and figured that you probably weren’t into it. Then more time passed. Then it just seemed too weird to call. Meanwhile, you didn’t call because you figured it was my job to call.
- I did call. I just hung up cause I got nervous and psyched myself out about it.
- The date was fine, we got along, we had a decent conversation…but there was no real spark. But, you know…like…no hard feelings or whatever.
- I chickened out and sent an email, but I got a bounce-back a few days later. By then, it was too late. And I’m a chicken.
- I’m tired of calling, so I said “this time, I’m leaving it up to the lady!” And you didn’t call.
- I tried to call, I really did…but then just as I was dialing I got abducted by aliens, and taken to Gortharb, their hideous home planet. I was forced to fight for my life in the dreaded Gunthi pits. I survived, narrowly, and was granted my freedom, along with a one-person space pod and enough Jiimb to last for eight Gortharb weeks (one human year, approximately). I navigated back to earth, landing just as I had eaten my last narb of Jiimb. Though I survived, my phone was wiped of everybody’s numbers, including yours.
- I texted the night of the date with a nice message and a smiley face. When you didn’t text back, I figured you didn’t have a good time, and said “forget it” and moved on.
- I was actually dating somebody else at the same time, but it was in the early stages of the relationship and I wanted to test the waters. You seem great, but I like the other person better (cut to: she breaks up with me later to date somebody else. Boo hoo karma!).
- I got super sick and felt gross OR I got super depressed and felt sad OR I got super busy OR I skipped town.
- I’m picky, and decided there was something about you that could never work. Better to just rip off the band-aid now, right? (this has traditionally been my rationale for breaking off relationships early too).
—Photo Duncan/Flickr
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I use to get really hurt when men didn’t call. Sometimes this happened after a first date or fifth. It was especially sucky when a guy would get somewhat intimate with you but then just disappear. I don’t think it’s too fair when guys do that. A little more world weary and with some more experience under my belt, it still sucks when men don’t give you clear communication. But I manage it better then when I was younger. Good communication from a man is certainly one thing I know I need and respect in a man. I can’t really… Read more »
I like the list – even in jest, the reasons are as good as anything else! Sometimes doesn’t it just boil down to chemistry? If the atoms colliding don’t ignite, lethargy is the answer! Although, after reading, am thinking I owe a couple of guys at least a note to say “Hi, had a really nice time talking, guess we didn’t really spark.” I love the male perspective on all of this!
Ryan McCarthy’s “comment” is longer than the whole article.
I liked this, it made me smile. It’s all a crap shoot anyway, right?
Glad you smiled. This list got me thinking and it got a bit out of hand after I started the comment. At least it ignited something.
Agreed on the crapshoot reference. Everything is a gamble or calculated risk with big rewards if played correctly. Kinda fun all in all really.
Peace.
I didn’t call cause I’ve returned to my planet
my experience is that I didn’t put out on the first date nor I looked like a swim suit model. Even though they weren’t anything to look at either.
I ask this question sincerely and in hopes you’ll consider it without taking it as a personal attack and becoming defensive: Do you think your expectation that men are just trying to get you to “put out on the first date” affects the way you treat them?
I do understand this list is presented as a humorous, slightly tongue in cheek offering of lightheartedness. With that said, its existence does alight my brain by supplying a few more serious-type thoughts after the jokes fade. Serious, but genuinely appreciated. Whatever I may finally take away from Josh’s list and the resulting exploration of my thoughts and ideas, I do not know. For now, I know it caused me to think about some things and that opportunity is always appreciated. The confusion that can come from dating and interaction with actual real people (oh my!) is one for the… Read more »
IDK about the tongue in cheek part. I found at least half of the reasons in the list were more honest then “homurous” (1,2,4,7,9, maybe more…)
@Drew Morrison it wasn’t really the ‘entertain me’ game..it’s just that I was scared if I talked too much, or if I took control of the conversation you would see me as too aggressive and you would say I’m coming on to you too strongly, and that would be your ‘reason’ number 11 for not calling me back, no? In Other News @Josh #11 I’m married #12 I did a background check and found out you’re married, as well as other details we’d rather not discuss here #14 The lady on the next table was sooo beautiful I bought her… Read more »
Joy, I’m sure there are many cases when one person is being quiet out of shyness or not wanting to seem too aggressive. I was speaking more to the times when one person keeps bringing up topics of conversation just to have them shot down, or one person asks all the questions and the other doesn’t reciprocate at all.
Joy, good point! Thanks for clarifying that Drew. I know that on some of my dates, I haven’t been the most scintillating conversationalist. I get nervous and shy and worry that I don’t have anything good to say. I am sure lots of women are in that position.
I appreciate your honesty. I don’t even get to the first date usually before I decide that there is something about a person that means it could never work. Isn’t that awful? But honest. As a matter of fact, I’m hoping this guy who asked for my number does not call me. It’s kind of hard to argue with: “Are you married?” No. “Are you in a relationship?” (*Mental sigh*) No. “I’m sorry, I’ve just decided in the last 30 seconds that we will never work out. But you appear to be very nice and respectful.” I might as well… Read more »
wow… cocky much?
11. On our date I realized you were making no effort and playing the “Entertain me!” game. Not only was I responsible for planning and financing the entire evening, I was also responsible for making the conversation interesting and engaging, with little or no help from you.
I can empathize with this. I tend to be the one approaching men because when I date I tend to date the stereotypical nice guy more introverted person. So I end up having to not only go through the whole awkward approach to ask for a date but then I have to plan the entire date and usually with no input from the guy on what interests him. I pay at least my way if not for the entire thing because usually I’m the bread winner on the date. And then I spend the entire date in that “entertain me”… Read more »
I’m really sorry you have to go through that. Though, at least in your favor, when you do find someone who can hold a good conversation, it’ll be that much better. That’s been my experience, anyway.
In my limited experience dating, #10 was the reason.. The whole band-aid thing is a tough one, because on the other hand there can be a part of you that’s like, “No, we could make it work, I also really like this and this and this about her.” But, I digress..