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Tom Burns is tired of the limited clothing choices presented to young girls and supports some recent efforts to provide our daughters with options beyond all things pink and bedazzled
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As a father, I’ve fielded a number of difficult questions from my young daughter. Questions about morality, mortality, human anatomy, and a million other complex and tricky topics. But do you know what was one of the most frustrating questions my daughter ever asked me?
“Dad, can you buy me a green hoodie?”
Sounds simple, right? But guess what—they don’t make plain green hoodies for girls. Trust me. Go to Target, Kohl’s, Macy’s, wherever. Go to any store and, most probably, you will not be able to find a green hoodie made for a girl. Do you know what you will find? Pink. You’ll find pink hoodies and purple hoodies. You’ll find really cute brown hoodies that, unfortunately, are covered with fake fur and rhinestones. You’ll find black hoodies with glittery, silver hearts across the back, and you’ll find fire-engine red hoodies with a heart zipper and a huge-eyed puppy dog embroidered on the pockets. You will not easily find a plain green or gray or blue hoodie that’s made for girls. (Unless you’re willing to special-order something online or find something custom on Etsy and pay that premium.)
Now my daughter likes rhinestones and glitter occasionally (who doesn’t?), but sometimes she just wants to have “regular clothes” (as she calls them), and “regular clothes” for girls can be ridiculously hard to find. As a man, I definitely have a few pieces of fancy-man clothing in my closet, but I also have a firm foundation of simple, neutral pieces. Simple pairs of black pants, plain navy t-shirts, unadorned grey sweaters—normal staples in any person’s wardrobe. However, for girls between the ages of 1 and 13, those staple clothing items apparently don’t exist. (Or, if they do, they don’t exist in the inventory of most major retailers.)
For example, let’s talk about girls’ shorts. Looking ahead to the summer, I did a search on JCPenny.com for girls’ shorts for girls between the ages of 12 months and 6 years. You can click here to see the 17 results that came up for that search. There is not ONE normal, plain pair of shorts on the entire list. Every single pair is either covered in embroidery, polka-dots, or Hello Kitty OR styled after Daisy Duke-style super-short-shorts. And here’s the thing—I am FINE that those exist. If kids want to be fancy, be fancy. But what I hate is that other options aren’t being offered. Why must everything that young girls wear be constantly bedazzled? Why are girls only offered such a limited, stereotypically “girly” color palette? Why are pre-adolescent girls only offered skinny-fit or feminine-cut tops and bottoms even though their bodies won’t be that different from their brothers for many years to come? Why can’t my daughter dress like a kid rather than a beauty pageant drop-out named Starla? It’s frustrating as a parent and I think it pigeon-holes my daughter, which makes me mad.
So, what can you do about it? You could shop for your daughters in the boys’ department, which I sometimes do, because they do make plain green hoodies for boys, along with several other normal clothing staples, but that’s a stop-gap solution. Why does my daughter have to shop in the boys’ aisle? Why can’t retailers start treating my daughter like a human being rather than a Barbie doll? Complaining to retailers like Target and Kohl’s is another good step. Hopefully, if they get enough complaints, it might inspire them to start asking their clothing manufacturers for less perpetually glittery options.
Another way to start advocating for “normal” clothes for our daughters is to support Kickstarter campaigns that are trying to offer more options for young girls. Personally, I really like the Girls Will Be clothing line. Their style rules are simple—“colors beyond pink, no girly embellishments, imagery that breaks gender stereotypes, and styles that let girls be kids.”
You can see their great line of shirts and hoodies here, and Girls Will Be are currently running a Kickstarter campaign to fund the creation of a new line of simple, stylish shorts for young girls. (Take that, JC Penny!) Their shorts—which (blissfully) use colors like white, navy, and grey—look really cool and embody the Girls Will Be style rules. For their shorts, those rules include “an ‘in-the-middle’ fit that is not too tight, but not too baggy; a length that hits just above the knee; colors beyond pink (yay!); no ‘girly’ touches, and pockets big enough to actually use” (that last item is a surprisingly universal problem with young girls’ pants).
I’m sometimes wary of retailer-sponsored Kickstarter campaigns, but the Girls Will Be shorts campaign isn’t asking for hand-outs. I mean, I’m sure they’ll gladly take hand-outs (and I’m a fan of their organization), but, for various levels of donation, if you like the shorts, you can basically pre-order a pair for your daughter, granddaughter, niece, or whomever you want. And they’re super cool-looking shorts. They basically just need to know that’s there’s enough interest out there to fund the production and they’re a little more than halfway to their goal with 16 days left in the campaign. I hope they reach their target.
Once again, let me make this clear—I’m not saying that everything pink and frilly is evil. My daughter has a lot of sparkly, princessy clothing items that she adores and I begrudgingly like a few of them myself. BUT it is RIDICULOUS how limited the options are that retailers and clothing lines present to young girls, particularly compared to what’s offered to young boys. Parents should support any effort to expand the range of options presented to our daughters and give our daughters the choices they deserve when it comes to determining their personal style. Not everything our daughters wear need to have embroidered hearts and flowers on them. There is just so much more in the world that should be available to them.
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For more on similar topics, please read:
Buying Boys’ Underwear For My Daughter
Kids Challenging Gender Barriers, One Pair of Batman Undies at a Time
Girls’ Superhero Underwear Is Selling Out Online: Are Retailers Listening?
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It’s also really hard shopping for boys if you are trying to avoid associations with violence as so much clothing features traditionally aggressive animals, superheroes, sport or military characters, let alone the ones with phrases implying it’s fine for boys to be naughty.
My son loves Care Bears and we struggle to find boys’ or neutral clothing with their characters on.
I have two girls. One loves all things pink, the other all things blue. I agree that there aren’t many choices that reflect a more neutral identity. It drives my wife insane when she tries to buy shorts that aren’t too short or bedazzled. No problem being cute and fancy, but more choice would be great. Nice post!
The irony of this is I am about to go look for my four-year-old’s green hoodie… which has magically disappeared. The best way to get normal clothes for young girls is to ask others for hand-me-downs. Seriously. I go through GOBS of them, toss/donate most of the “fancy” stuff that isn’t actually something to wear to, say, religious services, and end up with a decent variety of simple-patterned or easy-match clothes (stripes, for instance). Otherwise, I find that you have to look at the bottom shelves. That’s where the leggings without puppy/bow/Hello Kitty prints are located. Sometimes behind the prints.… Read more »
I have three daughters. I have more trouble finding clothes that are modest and “age appropriately” styled, than finding plain clothes. Years ago, even as recent as the early sixties, women mostly wore dresses. If you doubt this, look at old photos of crowd scenes or street scenes. There was no need for “girly” t-shirts, shorts, pants or hoodies because, for the most part, women didn’t wear those things. So there was already a differentiation between boy clothes and girl clothes. Shorts, t-shirts and other historically “male clothing” is made pink and purple and covered with all sorts of girly… Read more »
This is exactly what I still struggle with in my (closet) life, and I 34. Go Girls Will Be!
I love this site, and your article is obviously heartfelt (and very well written). I have to say, that while I am the mom of two boys, I have seen this very issue, and experiences it personally. I too, as a grown woman, would like some plain, relaxed shorts and t-shirts, so I can ride my bike without looking like an easter egg, or Barbie…the sporty edition. That being said, I find that where you shop makes all the difference. And, sometimes you have to think outside the bedazzled, glittery box. Pick up a few basics from Old Navy, or… Read more »
My middle son loves horses…..what a headache it is trying to find any tops with horses on them without sparkles, flowers or hearts. Do boys not like horses too? His favourite colour is also purple.
http://www.uniqlo.com/uk/store/clothing/uq/uniqlokids/kids/
These two sentences totally contradict each other: 1. “Why are pre-adolescent girls only offered skinny-fit or feminine-cut tops and bottoms even though their bodies won’t be that different from their brothers for many years to come?” 2. You could shop for your daughters in the boys’ department, which I sometimes do, because they do make plain green hoodies for boys, along with several other normal clothing staples, but that’s a stop-gap solution.” If we accept your premise that the bodies of pre-pubescent boys and girls are nearly identical, then why wouldn’t “boys” hoodies work just as well for your pre-pubescent… Read more »
Apologies for the typos in my comment. I wish there was an edit button. I meant boys not “masculine,” and I made a few other typos too.
It’s wonderful that there are men, like the author of the story, that think and worry about the way their little girls may be harmed by a cultural that puts a lot of pressure on little girls to dress and look in certain ways. But sometimes I’m concerned that we are shaming little girls who enjoy their overt girlyness. Little girl’s clothing is getting condemned but boys clothes are called “normal”. Disney movies are ripped apart for their anti-feminist themes but Superhero movies and movies like Star Wars are upheld as being simply “awesome”. I saw an article where a… Read more »
The problem is not only in the market; it’s a parental responsibility. It’s not very hard to find cheap appropriate clothing for either and all genders at any age. I believe that most parents probably don’t care. People buy baby shirts that say; “cum dumpster.” If you are truly having issues finding apparel for your children it’s very easy to find and buy plain, gender neutral items that can be personalized.
This father is obviously a very poor shopper. I Googled “green hoodie girls” and found dozens of green hoodie options out there for girls, and many more in more popular colors.
Seriously? I love how people are acting like LLBean and Gymboree and other department store brands are the ‘afordable’ clothes. You want affordable PLAIN clothes? Look at Walmart, KMart, Dollar General & Old Navy sale racks. There you go people…affordable plain clothes. If you want coverage, bermuda shorts and capris are very fashionable. The options are there, just quit ‘label shopping’. 😉
Seriously? I love how people are acting like LLBean and Gymboree and other department store brands are the ‘afordable’ clothes. You want affordable PLAIN clothes? Look at Walmart, KMart, Dollar General & Old Navy sale racks. There you go people…affordable plain clothes. If you want coverage, bermuda shorts and capris are very fashionable. The options are there, just quit ‘label shopping’. 😉
And I see this another way too…I have a son who loves the movie Frozen along with Anna and Elsa. H also loves Doc McStuffins….and I too draw the line at purple, glitter and such for my son…..why does everything have to be such gender divided….
I think the point here is that even though the problem is easily solved, and the range for guys is equally limited, and guys really CANNOT just buy girls’ clothes, we have to see females as being controlled or oppressed in any way we can. This is the old habit of seeing women as unfortunate, to motivate men to take care of them, and to keep them from really trying their best. It is half of all we say about women nowadays. It is outright asinine toward men, it slowly undermines women, and it provides a deeply, deeply conservative undertow… Read more »
Really? Because I’m pissed off about earning less (and being discouraged from entering fields where I’d earn more) and the huge risk of rape and domestic violence I live with.
But oh, thank you SO much for telling me I’m not actually unfortunate, and that I don’t try my hardest.
Thank you so much, you’ve really opened up my eyes to the fact that I TOTALLY have equal opportunity.
/sarcasm
You are terrible.
Why is the Girls Will Be color palette so limited? The yellow spectrum…? Earth tones galore…? Why did they completely dump pink and purple? Isn’t the whole point to ditch the limitations of color and embrace the color spectrum, while removing the glitter and lace and fake fur patterns and tight, revealing cuts? I like a lot of their designs, don’t get me wrong. I have two girls and a boy, and there are issues for both sexes – the societal stigma against boys using “girl colors” is also a HUGE issue, even if there is more plain stuff. There… Read more »
Actually, there are retailers that do this already, we bought 10 pairs of white shorts from old navy, they are knee length and now, half of them are rit dyed in various shades of navy blue jean blue ( the whit were 6.00 less per pair) BUT i do agree – we should not have to see it out.. why cant my 4 year old son play in a pink shirt ? why cant my 8 year old daughter who LOVES science get cool beaker and safty glasses shirt, that was sold for boys???? ( she can , we just… Read more »
@Chris R The brainwashing begins very early and children police each other to comply with the culturally prescribed likes and dislikes. It’s your task to expand their horizon and to not limit their experiences to those that tightly follow the gender script.
I have two girls (6 and 2 yr olds) and I let them choose what they want to wear and I always have. Now I have rules of course as far as modesty but for the most part I give them a few choices that I think they might like and they choose. for them, since the time they could choose, usually younger than 1yr old, they always choose pretty pink frilly glittery, etc….. I Don’t see a problem with it personally. My style of clothing is drastically different than theirs. We never shop for clothes anywhere but thrift stores… Read more »
Until my children are old enough to make choices about what they wear my plan is to do the same thing as the victorians and dress them all in gender neutral white (for easy bleaching) smocks (for freedom of movement and easy diaper changing). It just seems practical. I grew up desperately wanting sparkly stuff (not pink, I despised pink because I thought it was infantile and prefered red) with a mom who loved overalls and had hoped I’d be like Scout from To Kill A Mockingbird… I did like to catch frogs though, I just wanted to wear a… Read more »
I have had no trouble finding green hoodies and other things at lands end online. Their prices are quite reasonable. One of my daughters has one.
Excellent! I have a 6yo tomboy who hates pink and purple. It makes me sad that she calls them boy colors and girl colors. Can’t we all share the colors?
Two words: Hanna Andersson. My son has a plain green unisex hoodie that will one day be my daughter’s, and still look new.
Maybe if more people would question these things & use their dollars to express their opinion the system would change. If no one bought that stuff they wouldn’t sell it & if all the girls started to shop in the boys department maybe there would be more variety there.