Tom Burns wonders what the hell is wrong with the manufacturers of children’s underwear.
I can’t imagine that any dad is entirely comfortable taking their daughter underwear shopping. Blogger Jim Higley did a great article back in April about taking his older daughter on shopping “dates” to Victoria’s Secret, and Higley really conveyed that wonderful, uncomfortable panic that can overcome a dad who’s forced to stand too long in the lingerie and unmentionables section.
While moms have their own unique on-the-job difficulties, I know way too many dads who are perpetually nervous about unwittingly coming across as a pervert or a pedophile, thanks to stupid societal prejudices about the perceived dangers of men interacting with children. And, though I disagree with all of those stereotypes, I will admit—when I linger in the girls’ underwear section at Target, my personal levels of social anxiety go off the charts.
Fortunately, unlike Higley, at the moment, I’m getting off fairly easily when it comes to taking my daughter underwear shopping. She’s only five years old, so I’m (hopefully) years away from flop-sweating and avoiding eye contact while I hold a purse next to the Victoria’s Secret changing rooms in the mall. Right now, we just go to Target or Kohl’s, she sees a six-pack of underwear with her favorite characters on it, I toss it in the cart, and we’re good to go. Character underwear makes undergarment shopping super-easy and predictable for the parents of young children.
Or so I thought.
♦◊♦
Our underwear shopping system seemed to be going fine until my daughter discovered the existence of the BOYS’ underwear aisle.
“DAD! Come over here!”
I followed her voice and found my daughter standing, slack-jawed and indignant, looking at the much, much larger and more varied selection of character underwear in the boys’ aisle.
“They have Lego Star Wars underwear! And superheroes! OH! And Phineas and Ferb! Dad, can I get these? Do they have girl ones?”
And I had to stand and tell her that no, no, they didn’t make girl versions of these brands of character underwear and I didn’t really have a good explanation why.
The Girls’ underwear aisle at Target. Where’s Wonder Woman?!
If you’re unfamiliar with the world of children’s character underwear, here’s a quick breakdown:
In the GIRLS’ aisle, they have underwear featuring Disney Princesses, Hello Kitty, Monster High (a goth-themed toy line), and maybe a few Nickelodeon-branded kids shows (iCarly, for example). That’s it.
In the BOYS’ aisle, they have underwear featuring Star Wars(both LEGO and regular versions), DC Superheroes, Phineas and Ferb, Toy Story, Batman, Transformers, The Avengers – it’s a much larger character pool.
And, while I might (might!) begrudgingly admit that a majority of girls might not care for Transformers underwear, a LOT of the other so-called “boy” characters really do appeal to a wide cross section of children, both boys and girls.
For starters, Phineas and Ferb. EVERY kid I know loves this show and, even though the two title characters are boys, I don’t think the show has a gender-specific appeal at all. Phineas and Ferb actually has a nice selection of active female characters. And Toy Story? It’s one of the most successful children’s film franchises of all time and, while yes, it didn’t feature any sparkly princesses, I’m pretty sure that young girls made up a huge portion of its audience.
We did actually once find a pack of Pixar-themed underwear for my daughter, but even that was a little weird. They couldn’t just have WALL-E. They had to have WALL-E hugging EVE with a big red heart behind them. And Buzz and Woody couldn’t appear on any of the underwear, but Jessie and Bullseye could.
Do kids’ underwear manufacturers think that, if they put an image of a male character on girls’ underwear, that it will somehow turn the girls into boy-crazy sex maniacs? The logic completely escapes me.
What do kids’ underwear manufacturers think when they gender underwear?
My big issue is that my daughter is a HUGE comic book, Star Wars, and superhero fan, and, in my vast shopping experience, I have NEVER found any girls’ character underwear that spoke to any of those creative properties. FINE—If you think that having Anakin Skywalker on her undies will turn my daughter into a lusty, inhibition-challenged Jedi-chaser, then just let her have some underwear with Princess Leia or Ahsoka Tano on it, OK? But none exists.
There’s a pack of boys’ DC Superhero underwear that only has the logos of various superheroes on them. Why couldn’t they make those for girls? If the Superman “S” or the Batman bat symbol can appear on boys’ undies, why can’t you stick the same logo on girls’ undies and just call them Supergirl and Batgirl underwear? I couldn’t even find her any Wonder Woman underwear, even though I know my sister was the proud owner of Wonder Woman Underoos back in the ‘80s.
See? That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
Yes, it’s sexist, but it’s also just weird and sad. Why can a boy walk around with Yoda on his underwear, but a young female Star Wars fan can’t? It’s gender marketing at its very worst.
So, what did I do? I let her buy and wear the boys’ underwear.
Why not? Yes, it hangs a little low in the back and, yeah, there’s the front flap, but, c’mon, NO kid (and barely any adults) ever uses that flap anyway.
And she absolutely LOVES them. Now she has Lego Star Wars undies (some of the boys’ ones DO come with images of Princess Leia on the butt), Toy Story undies, and a nice selection of DC Superhero underwear.
She adores the variety of her new character underwear and she definitely switches back and forth between brands – one day, she’ll rock the Disney Princess underwear followed by Chewbacca underwear the next day.
In her mind, Star Wars, Pixar, and superheroes aren’t just for boys, so wearing them on her underwear doesn’t feel odd at all. But, thanks to stupid gender marketing, there are whole generations of girls being told that these creative properties that they love ARE NOT for them. And, again, that’s sad and strange and seems to be leaving a whole lot of money on the table for the underwear manufacturers.
Believe me, sinister masters of the character underwear industrial complex, if you make Star Wars and superhero underwear for girls, they will sell. Because a) Young girls don’t view those as boy-only properties and b) As a parent, I will force my daughter to buy them if it means I get to leave the underwear section of Target any sooner, preferably without a pack of Miley Cyrus or iCarly underwear in my cart.
Originally appeared at 8BitDad
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I want to know what store you’re shopping at? The stores here give like 3 options for toddler boys but 50 for girls. If your bou doesnt like DC super hero, mickey Mouse, or Cars, you have to order off the internet. Maybe its just cause of the size. My 4yo is still in 2T undies . However i did stumble onto this article trying to help find girl star wars undies for a friend’s 4yo girl.
Good article but I believe as a consumer, your dollar is your “vote”. By purchasing the gendered underwear (whether from the boys or girls styles), you are only showing the manufacturer that the gendered marketing strategy is working. As long as they are selling well, Target will keep buying them. A better option would be to buy the neutral undies and add your own decal somehow or to write a letter to Target or the manufacturer of the underwear to tell them how you feel.
I’ve always been jealous that girls can get away with that no problem. But what about all the boys that want Frozen or Tangled underwear?
I agree. Forced gender norms aren’t necessarily harmful but are certainly unfair at times.
When I was at uni I had a female friend who was a huge Harry Potter fan. She discovered that a department store were selling a range of boys’ underpants with the Hogwarts house logos on the front. She absolutely loved them, and eventually decided to buy a pair of Slytherin. She confessed to me one day that they were actually extremely comfortable! I’ve always wondered why boys’ and men’s underwear are designed so differently – they’re actually designed to *cover* the bum, and little ‘short’ styles are really common, whereas the majority of women’s undies are designed to be… Read more »
Underoos were excellent. I had R2-D2 and C-3PO as well as Wonder Woman sets. *sigh*
I ran into that with my youngest. She wanted Monsters Inc., Toy Story and even Nemo. So we bought from the boy isle for a couple years. 🙂 I mentioned it to some friend and several of them had bought “boy” undies for their girls
I am an adult female, and hilariously enough, I find men’s underwear much more comfortable (when I want to rock a pair of briefs.) Nothing is more infuriating to me than undergarment shopping. So I am definitely not looking forward to doing it with my daughter. However, I’ll very likely just parade her down both aisles and just say “You can have whichever kind you like.”
Forced gender norms are not necessarily harmful but at time can be unfair. Be proud and have no shame for your underwear preference, I for instance am a male. And I am proud to say that I find women’s panties more comfortable.
About 13 years ago, my stepson’s preschool tried to send him home for having on underwear with characters from his favorite show – Powerpuff Girls. Since there were no boys underwear with his beloved superheroes on them, his parents had let him get girls’ panties. He was 3… Who cares? Dad went to the school irate, and said his son would wear whatever underpants he liked – the rule that NEEDED to be enforced was him not showing his underpants, whatever the style, to anyone at school to begin with and it wouldn’t be an issue.
Dude i feel your pain. This morning i was getting undies for my 3 daughter and i told her lets where the the princess undies for my princess and she flipped out . Saying she did not want to be a princess but be batman and she wanted batman undies. So long story shorter I went on line to find batman undies for little girls. and found this. Off to the boys dept. for us soon i guess.
That’s weird, but things should get better for her in a few years! I was just at Target shopping in the underwear section for myself and was surprised at the underoo-style panties available in my size with all sorts of characters – Batman, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Cookie Monster, etc in XS and up. They were in the section set up to appeal for teens, I think. (I’m 27, but I still bought a pair!)
Totally related to this article, I remember my disappointment as a little girl at all the cool characters boys clothing had compared to the girls. On the topic of kids underwear: Does anyone know if they only market the “days of the week” underwear to girls?
I’m not sure I understand this article or why it is an “issue.” It seems that you are demanding that a corporation have available on demand what you want. That is consumerism. If they find a market for it, they will provide it. Do you really think someone sits around a corporation and thinks, “OOOO, let’s not do that: it’s transgressive?” If it sells, they will do it. The solution for any one shopper is; (a), ask, not demand, that your local manager consider it. If it is Target or Walmart, shelf-space is assigned by computer based on sales, so… Read more »
So sad that this is still happening, now already two years since I also wrote about this very inequity on my own blog, http://www.littlelodestar.com/?p=271 . You’d think that these clothing companies would get it, if nothing else because it would likely increase their bottom line! I salute you for taking the bold step of letting her buy and wear the underwear! You are awesome!
Even though I have two granddaughters, I have never realized this difference in the underwear, usually plain and brightly colored has been the order of the day, thank goodness. It does surprise me to find that girls aren’t catered for in all the popular movie characters which both boys and girls love.Surprising that the manufactures aren’t aware of this.
I have written about this very issue, and actually found a solution. In fact, the solution presented itself as a response to my article! After reading my complaints about the lack of “boy” characters on girls’ underwear, someone started an Etsy shop making some. My daughter loves them!
http://www.tenordad.blogspot.com/2012/09/why-my-daughter-cant-have-super-hero.html
http://tenordad.blogspot.com/2012/10/where-to-buy-super-hero-underwear-for.html
Great read as a Mom of a Dino loving lady I find it hard to meet her need for T Rex under ware. Happy to see my little lady is not the only one rocking the front flap.
I don’t have much to add, other than I had the same experience. My daughter (now 11) wanted Shrek, Scooby Doo, and Spiderman underwear when she was younger. We ended up getting the boy underwear. The fit was perfect, and she did not care that it was for boys. In fact, a few years later, I saw there was Shrek girl underwear, but it featured Fiona. And was pink. My daughter wanted Shrek and Donkey on her bum.
You are describing my exact experiences with my daughter! She has just never been interested in the characters (or colors) on girls underwear. She’d much rather wear the themes that only show up in the boys department – LEGOs, Star Wars, superheroes, etc. It’s also a problem with pajamas and graphic T’s. We often raid the boys department too, but I would much rather find these characters in the girls department, because I don’t ever want a girl to think something is wrong because she doesn’t like what girls are “supposed” to wear. Or feel she shouldn’t like something because… Read more »
The plus side is that boys underwear fits little girls so much better, no riding up and no uncomfortableness.
And to Tom B…. I have boys. We call the flap the penis pocket so they know that that part goes to the front but they’ve never used it. And I’ve never seen a grown man use it. To me, it seems like an awful lot of work.
Also, why can’t we just have pink undies for boys? Pink is pretty. Everyone should have the opportunity to dress their loins in pink if they want to.
I forgot to include… I’m kind of anti-branding my kids so what I do these days is buy plain white underwear along with fabric markers and let the kiddos go to town creating their own custom undies. Who doesn’t want a pair of underwear with their name spelled across the bum? The bonus? They practise writing and drawing skills (and fine motor skills are severely lacking over here) in a way that’s fun and doesn’t seem like work.
So decorating your own undies is practically the same as doing homework.
What a clever idea! You understand the underlying issue. The clothing and underwear industry is all about making money and if they stamp a Star Wars image on something and can raise the price a bit they will. The largest predictable segment for Star Wars is boys and when the next box office movie comes out, they find a likeable character and sell more undies.
As the dad of a daughter, I have a questions for all the dads with sons out there.
Does anyone actually teach their sons to use the flap in Y-front boys’ underwear? Do any dads actually instruct their boys how to use the flap or do you just tell them to pull it down?
I will admit – I don’t know any grown man who actually uses the flap, so I’m curious if there are dads out there who encourage their kids to use the flap. If not, the flap is essentially useless and could easily be eliminated, right?
well as we are talking about boys underwear. i say most male underwear is infact feminine. the crotch space is minimal, and i believe is the major cause of the curvatures we see in pe.nises. two corsets which deform the body, still exist in the world. 1. most underwear 2. footwear ( a never shoed foot has the splayed shape of a duck’s foot. so why do the lasts, moulds of the foot that shoe manufacturers construct shoes upon, look so different). does male or female footwear look splayed like this (kuhmaul, cowmouth,bearpaw unisex shoe) http://pinterest.com/pin/176484879119590115/ i feel this is… Read more »
Indeed, since I changed to boxers life has been more comfy, not to mention cooler down there. The typical y front cut? I think suit women since there isn’t much to stick out, males need extra room and especially additional airflow for the testicles to keep them lower temperature as required.
Archy, i just noticed that you wondered upthread if there was lingerie for men (id prefer to have the option of chronological thread viewing). Masculine gay men, and also feminine gay men (because of 19th/20th CE incorrect associations with homosexuality and being womanly) wont go anywhere lingerie (or the rest of ‘women’s’ clothing). So Accordingly, It is we male transvestites who have the greatest range of male underwear eg. https://xdress.com/product/view/T134 Personally while i have ‘womanly’ underwear, it is for special occasions. And if i have to wear underwear, i prefer to wear loose boxer shorts as for my groin they… Read more »
Lol that style of underwear makes me laugh. I always thought boxers were the sexiest for men, maybe boxer briefs.
Maybe things are different these days but in the old days one of the struggles was to get your son to change his underwear. Guys back then were more interested on just getting dressed to go and play. Getting dressed meant grabbing whatever was closest, clean or not. Cool underwear made it interesting and motivated the kids to put on a clean pair. Ya’ll have to be honest here, a lot of parents purchases are based upon the parents taste, what they think is cool or cute. A lot of parents live vicariously through their kids because what kids are… Read more »
True story. Many years ago I’m at the store with friends of mine and their young son (I think about 8 or so). Anyway. he sees a package of girls Wonder Woman Underoos and starts carring on that he wants them. Now, at the time Wonder Woman was a popular TV show (With the Lucious Linda Carter in the title role). So while his son is throwing a tantrum screaming “I want Wonder Woman!” an older gentleman leans over and says “Young man, I too have wanted Wonder Woman foe Quite some time now, but you don’t see me crying… Read more »
lololol
Thanks, I needed good laugh!
I’m encountering this with my newly toilet-trained twin daughters, for whom picking out undies is a big treat. They both like the assortment of fairy-themed stuff (hard to avoid) and Angry Birds panties (yay!), but one is really into the movie “Cars” right now and wants some of those. I looked online and couldn’t find any, so we’ll probably just get some Cars-themed boys underwear and let her use them. Doesn’t bother me at all aside from potential confusion over what the fly is for. I have to admit, though, I don’t think I’d feel the same if it was… Read more »
“I have to admit, though, I don’t think I’d feel the same if it was a son wanting Tinkerbell underwear and just letting him pick from the girls section. I know there’s something screwed up about that, but there’s more of a social price to be paid (by child and parents alike) for a boy wearing girl underwear than vice versa” Why do you think this is? Why more of a social cost for a boy than a girl? Do you think the pink aisle is a forbidden zone, in that the boys might want to shop there but are… Read more »
I think there’s stigma for gender bending in either direction, but I believe it’s more taboo for boys/men to adopt feminine characteristics or interests than vice versa. I’m not saying that’s justified in any way, just stating my opinion of how things are, at least in the culture I live in. I don’t worry that my pre-school girls would face difficulties for being “tomboys” like I would that my sons (if I had any) would face for being feminine. If they (my hypothetical sons) grew up to clearly have their own innate preferences for feminine things, I like to think… Read more »
“f they (my hypothetical sons) grew up to clearly have their own innate preferences for feminine things, I like to think I could be tolerant and accepting of that, but I would not start them down a road of cross-dressing when they’re too young to have any idea that’s what they’re doing, but not too young to be stigmatized as a result. ” But a child who just likes pink, or things that are (for some ridiculous reason) assigned “feminine” isn’t cross dressing, it’s a child liking pink. It’s a thing, in a color that society has for some reason… Read more »
Julie wrote: “The pink underwear doesn’t mean he, at 3 is cross dressing. ” I agree the child doesn’t consider it cross dressing, but I’m also inclined to agree with Thomas B’s comment that: “Ya’ll have to be honest here, a lot of parents purchases are based upon the parents taste, what they think is cool or cute.” So a 3 yr. old may not be capable of cross dressing, but his parents can consciously make a choice to cross dress him, which I think is a cruel choice to make. There’s more to it than just pink. In theory,… Read more »
I agree the child doesn’t consider it cross dressing, but I’m also inclined to agree with Thomas B’s comment that: “Ya’ll have to be honest here, a lot of parents purchases are based upon the parents taste, what they think is cool or cute.” So a 3 yr. old may not be capable of cross dressing, but his parents can consciously make a choice to cross dress him, which I think is a cruel choice to make. I, as a parent, would not force any particular clothing style on my child. I know of no parents that do, or would… Read more »
In my experience, most 5 years old boys would rather run around without underpants…but that’s boys, gotta love ‘em. I have a little hesitation about going too far with the gender-blend at pre-sexual ages. Watching the last generation or two grow up in the gender-blender, I’m concerned about over-androgynizing our girls because as soon many of these girls raised as ‘tomboys’ hit the tween and teens they start questioning their sexuality more and start wondering why the boys don’t look at them…and the self-esteem issues begin. The same self-esteem issues happens with our boys, when we’ve over-feminize our boys. Just… Read more »
Underroos are bad for older boys, they need airflow over the testicles during puberty n onwards. I wear jersey knit cotton boxers which have a lot of airflow and are very very comfy, I’d hate to go back to the awkward underoos that make your testicles hot and annoyingly make it difficult for the penis during the day during the normal erection cycles that take place (less need to adjust your boxers vs your underroos).